Is My Baby Neurodivergent? with @on.the.hard.days Megan Champion

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<v SPEAKER_1>How is the mental load of motherhood going for you?

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<v SPEAKER_1>This baby stuff is a lot, right?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Well, my goal is to give you one less thing to worry about, and that's, hmm, what am I gonna feed the baby?

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<v SPEAKER_1>If you are looking for a one-stop solution that literally teaches you exactly how to safely help your baby learn how to eat real food, I wanna invite you to join my signature online program called Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro.

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<v SPEAKER_1>This is the most comprehensive Baby-Led Weaning program.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Out there, I give you 20 weeks of meal plans for Baby-Led Weaning to help your baby safely eat five new foods a week, which means they're going to finish their 101st foods before turning one.

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<v SPEAKER_1>As one mom who recently joined the program said, quote, our lifestyle does not give us any mental capacity to think more about what to do with this baby.

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<v SPEAKER_1>This program caters to our needs.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Inside of the program, I have my 101st foods content library to show you exactly how to safely prepare all of the 101st foods for your baby's current age and stage.

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<v SPEAKER_1>My 101st foods daily meal plan is also included in there.

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<v SPEAKER_1>It's all in one place.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And a mom in our program, she said she joined because, quote, I'm too tired of trying to figure out so many different things at once.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I want someone to tell me what to do to catch up my nine month so we can stop using the same familiar foods we've been feeding her.

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<v SPEAKER_1>If you are a type A organized person, or like, let's say you wanna be that kind of person, you wanna be more organized in what you feed your baby, then I created the Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program for you.

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<v SPEAKER_1>You can sign up at babyledweaning.co/program.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I have one program with all the stuff you need inside of it to get this thing done and get on with your life.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Again, that's babyledweaning.co/program.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Check it out, and I hope to see you there.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Whenever your baby enters a new phase of feeding, it means it's time to size up to the right gear.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And I don't know about you, but I love when somebody else takes the guesswork out of trying to figure out what sort of like baby gear to register for or buy next.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And my favorite feeding gear brand, Easy Peasy, is crushing it on the feeding sets right now.

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<v SPEAKER_1>They've started bundling the Baby-Led Weaning gear that you need for your baby's current age and stage.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And right now you can get 20% off select Easy Peasy sets through February 14th with the affiliate discount code BLW set.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So their bundles are already priced so that you save money on the different components for feeding gear that you were already gonna buy.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And now you can get an extra 20% off.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So if you're just starting Baby-Led Weaning, the Easy Peasy first food set is literally the best.

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<v SPEAKER_1>It has one of their tiny bowls, an Easy Peasy tiny cup and a two-pack of the Easy Peasy tiny spoons.

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<v SPEAKER_1>But if your baby is approaching the one-year mark or you've got one-year-old birthday parties to buy for, baby showers, you gotta check out the mini feeding set.

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<v SPEAKER_1>This is what you're gonna need for your soon-to-be toddler.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Again, you can get 20% off select sets at easypeasyfun.com now through Wednesday, February 14th, if you use the affiliate discount code BLWSET.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I was drowning and I felt like a bad mom.

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<v SPEAKER_2>My kids struggle with so many things and I was like, surely I should know how to help them.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I honestly, I don't.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I'm overwhelmed by the meltdowns and the aggression and the screaming and the food refusal and all of the pieces of their puzzles that I started to think that this was my fault.

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<v SPEAKER_2>Because I didn't have that help yet, because I didn't know anybody in my life, my real life, who had a kid like mine, then I internalized all of this shame and guilt.

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<v SPEAKER_2>Help comes from professionals.

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<v SPEAKER_2>Support comes from peers.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Hey there, I'm Katie Ferraro, registered dietician, college nutrition professor and mom of seven specializing in baby-led weaning.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Here on the Baby-Led Weaning Made Easy podcast, I help you strip out all of the noise and nonsense about feeding, leaving you with the confidence and knowledge you need to give your baby a safe start to solid foods using baby-led weaning.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Megan, welcome to the podcast.

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<v SPEAKER_2>Hi, thank you so much for having me.

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<v SPEAKER_1>All right, before we get started, could you tell us a little bit about yourself?

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<v SPEAKER_1>What's your background?

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<v SPEAKER_1>How and why did you get interested and involved in supporting mothers of neurodivergent children?

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<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, of course.

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<v SPEAKER_2>So I have three kids.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I have 10-year-old twins and a seven-year-old.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I'm a former fifth grade teacher.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I taught for 15 years.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I left the classroom two years ago.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I have my own neurodivergent kids.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I've been on a long journey of accepting myself as a mom, learning how to be okay with the guilt and the shame that often comes with raising neurodivergent kids, wanting to make sure that I do what's best for my children, but not always knowing what that is.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And so in my journey of loneliness and isolation and anxiety and depression, I realized that there's got to be other moms out there like me.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I've been on this mission to not only find them, but connect them with each other so that we can all start feeling better in our motherhood journeys.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I am blown away by the connection piece of your model.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And I can't wait for our audience to hear more about it because I also appreciate you sharing so openly.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Like so much of parenting is lonely.

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<v SPEAKER_1>It is isolating the shame, the guilt that comes with lots of different aspects of it.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And I love that you've really carved out this niche for these parents of neurodivergent children who really don't always get the attention that they should.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So having said that, can we start just by explaining what does the term neurodivergent or neurodiverse mean?

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<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, of course.

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<v SPEAKER_2>So I'm still learning.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I think it's this ongoing process of understanding.

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<v SPEAKER_2>The best way that I explain neurodivergence and the way I internalize it as well is that it's just sort of the opposite of neurotypical.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And by typical, what society puts as normal, in quotes, right?

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<v SPEAKER_2>Like if you have a child that feels like they're outside of the box, they just are not fitting in with what society deems normal, whether that's socially, whether that's, you know, behaviorally, emotionally, there can be many different pieces to that.

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<v SPEAKER_2>But a neurodivergent kid does not fit in the box in some way.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And there's nothing wrong with that, yet there's a ton of judgment and stigma around the concept.

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<v SPEAKER_2>So that's not my dictionary definition, but that's the one that I think of when I'm explaining it.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And my audience listening today, primarily parents and caregivers of babies, somewhere between six, 12 months of age as they start and are in the middle of that transition to solid foods.

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<v SPEAKER_1>In talking to you, I was interested to learn that with your twins, your boy-girl twins, the boy, started exhibiting signs that were concerning to you.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I don't know if the concerning is the right word.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Signs of neurodivergence, if you can correct me on how I should be saying that, cause I feel like I've already tripping over myself regarding the language, but as early as 10 months of age, can you talk or would you be willing to share what it was that you noticed?

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<v SPEAKER_1>I mean, you're a first time mom with twins, you're in the thick.

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<v SPEAKER_1>When were you first like, whoa, maybe this is, as you said, outside the box or outside of what society would deem as quote unquote normal.

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<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, of course.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I also want to say too that it took me, it was after the fact that I realized that things were not quite normal for my son.

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<v SPEAKER_2>It was not immediate.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And so I spent many years blaming myself for obviously doing something wrong, clearly clueless about how to be a mom, even though I thought I would know because I'm a teacher.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And so I didn't know at the time that this was neurodivergence.

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<v SPEAKER_2>In the coming years, there are so many pieces to the puzzle that I'm still uncovering even now.

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<v SPEAKER_2>At 10 months of age, the very first thing that happened was that he started screaming.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He was just flat out screaming.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He was a calm baby.

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<v SPEAKER_2>Everything had been seemingly fine up until that point, but constantly screaming.

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<v SPEAKER_2>One thing later in the next couple months after that, he never crawled at all, never scooted, never moved.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He never moved.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He was able to pull himself up to stand.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And then from there, screamed, screamed, screamed all day every day because he wanted to move his body and could not.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He eventually skipped crawling all together and went right to walking.

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<v SPEAKER_2>But I did not know at the time that that was not typical, that some sort of movement, whether even a butt scoot or any sort of odd way of getting around, but that there still needs to be something.

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<v SPEAKER_2>What happened is later come to find out the lack of crawling was a vestibular system issue.

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<v SPEAKER_2>So there was his arms and legs were not moving back and forth like they should in his brain connection to that.

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<v SPEAKER_2>From there, we started seeing sensory issues.

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<v SPEAKER_2>So I have this one story that is always stuck in my mind.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I have my twins and those little jumper things that you hang from the door, the top of the door and they both were jumping.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I had the plastic top to a Brussels sprouts container and it's super crinkly.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I gave each of my twins a piece of that.

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<v SPEAKER_2>My daughter absolutely loved it, crinkled, jumped up and down.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And my son screamed this scream that sounded like he was in severe pain that I had never heard before.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And I thought this was the first time I had ever seen him so upset over something that was supposed to be, I thought, fun for babies.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And so from there, sensory things just continued.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He ended up doing an early intervention program.

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<v SPEAKER_2>They did test him for autism at one and a half.

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<v SPEAKER_2>They said no, but he was quote unquote quirky.

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<v SPEAKER_2>And it just goes on from there.

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<v SPEAKER_2>But the screaming began at that very young age.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And I ask if you noticed, I mean, it's so interesting, right?

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<v SPEAKER_1>We always look at twin studies, right?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Obviously they're not identical twins because they're boy or girl fraternal twins.

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<v SPEAKER_1>But did you notice divergence with regards to their eating behaviors?

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<v SPEAKER_1>You mentioned sensory issues.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Was your boy twin not into touching foods or reverse to certain foods or had food refusal?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Anything that you noticed in that latter half of infancy when a typically developing child would be starting that transition to solid foods that you can recall?

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<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, it's a good question.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I think my son, he was more open to flavors, but textures were a challenge.

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<v SPEAKER_2>So mushy, super mushy food was a challenge.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He went on in his toddler, once he got teeth in preschool years, to really, really seek out crunchy foods that the crunch was actually like a regulating tool for him.

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<v SPEAKER_2>I also remember that he ate solid food, but he would shove massive, massive, massive pieces in his mouth, especially later when I was giving him like peanut butter sandwich, for example.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He was not chewing.

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<v SPEAKER_2>He was trying to just get it down his throat as fast as possible.

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<v SPEAKER_2>There was a lot to it.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Okay, and then you went on to have, you have another child, is that child neurodivergent as well?

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<v SPEAKER_2>He, my seven-year-old, does have ADHD, sort of your classic type, both hyperactive and inattentive.

00:12:25.313 --> 00:12:34.213

<v SPEAKER_2>He otherwise has a neuro-typical brain that we can tell, you know, there's not a ton of other pieces to his puzzle, as there are for my other two.

00:12:34.633 --> 00:12:38.053

<v SPEAKER_2>He is my biggest eater, and he is my bravest eater.

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<v SPEAKER_2>But he also, with that ADHD, seeks out dopamine, and one of the ways that he gets it is from like spicy food, strong flavors, where my other two are much more resistant to any sort of flavors, my daughter especially.

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<v SPEAKER_2>But again, you know, she's 10.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So when you use the term neurodivergent, if neurodivergent or neurodiversity, it's not a medical term, it's not a condition, it's not a diagnosis, how do parents know if this pertains to your child?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Like you said, in hindsight, obviously as you became more educated and you move down the road looking back, you realize some of this stuff.

00:13:09.773 --> 00:13:13.213

<v SPEAKER_1>What is it that parents, you know, how do they know if this is happening to their child?

00:13:13.553 --> 00:13:18.693

<v SPEAKER_2>This is such a giant gap and a huge societal problem because this is where it starts.

00:13:19.133 --> 00:13:23.133

<v SPEAKER_2>Parents have concerns, something doesn't seem right, something doesn't feel right.

00:13:23.533 --> 00:13:25.733

<v SPEAKER_2>And so they start to seek out professional help.

00:13:26.113 --> 00:13:32.673

<v SPEAKER_2>Professionals often, not always of course, but often say, well, they're still young, just wait a few years.

00:13:32.693 --> 00:13:34.693

<v SPEAKER_2>Well, have you tried giving them two choices?

00:13:34.993 --> 00:13:36.153

<v SPEAKER_2>Have you tried this?

00:13:36.173 --> 00:13:36.853

<v SPEAKER_2>Have you tried that?

00:13:37.013 --> 00:13:40.173

<v SPEAKER_2>You just need to tell them, hey, this is what we're eating today.

00:13:40.193 --> 00:13:45.313

<v SPEAKER_2>Like this is what's on your plate, or just show them that you're in charge, or this is normal, they're a boy.

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<v SPEAKER_2>All kinds of stereotypical judgmental comments.

00:13:48.493 --> 00:13:54.773

<v SPEAKER_2>And it's hard to know when you have two or three or four professionals say those things to you, starts to feel like, well, you know what?

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<v SPEAKER_2>Maybe it's me, maybe I'm doing something wrong because no one else is identifying this at a young age.

00:14:01.053 --> 00:14:08.813

<v SPEAKER_1>And when you mention some sort of professionals, like I heard you say earlier, and I don't know if it was a little bit sarcastic, but oh, they just described him as quirky.

00:14:08.873 --> 00:14:11.373

<v SPEAKER_1>And then you're like looking back now, being like, oh, it was more than that.

00:14:11.793 --> 00:14:13.993

<v SPEAKER_1>What sort of professionals were you seeing at the time?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Especially, I think, just the 10-month-old baby start screaming bloody murder when you're giving him a toy or a household device that, I guess it's not a device, it was the top of a Brussels broccatator, whatever the case may be, but you're watching the twin sister totally fine with it.

00:14:28.173 --> 00:14:29.773

<v SPEAKER_1>And you're like, oh my gosh, what's going on?

00:14:30.033 --> 00:14:33.453

<v SPEAKER_1>What sort of professional help did you eventually seek out?

00:14:33.473 --> 00:14:34.613

<v SPEAKER_1>I wouldn't even know where to start.

00:14:34.993 --> 00:14:37.813

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, well, it was so many months of constant screaming.

00:14:37.953 --> 00:14:46.533

<v SPEAKER_2>And eventually there was a lot of rocking back and forth as well and sensory input, but only certain things and some sensory avoiding as well from my son.

00:14:46.933 --> 00:14:50.873

<v SPEAKER_2>But in general, my most concerning thing was, why is he so sad all the time?

00:14:50.893 --> 00:14:52.313

<v SPEAKER_2>Why is he so angry all the time?

00:14:52.533 --> 00:14:55.453

<v SPEAKER_2>He doesn't even have words, but he is so not happy.

00:14:55.453 --> 00:14:56.793

<v SPEAKER_2>And that does not seem right.

00:14:57.153 --> 00:14:58.993

<v SPEAKER_2>Why wouldn't we live in a happy home?

00:14:59.013 --> 00:15:00.553

<v SPEAKER_2>And so I was baffled.

00:15:00.913 --> 00:15:13.153

<v SPEAKER_2>Where I went first, obviously my pediatrician, that was not the most helpful thing, but they did eventually say after I brought it up multiple times, why don't you call the early intervention that my state offers?

00:15:13.713 --> 00:15:16.753

<v SPEAKER_2>And we ended up getting people out to our home.

00:15:17.013 --> 00:15:20.053

<v SPEAKER_2>I'm not sure, she must have been, I mean, she was a therapist of some sort.

00:15:20.073 --> 00:15:22.133

<v SPEAKER_2>She was trying to evaluate him in our home.

00:15:22.573 --> 00:15:25.593

<v SPEAKER_2>And that is when she did an autism evaluation there.

00:15:25.613 --> 00:15:32.713

<v SPEAKER_2>But in that meeting, determined in her words that he was not autistic, he still does not have an autistic diagnosis.

00:15:33.033 --> 00:15:35.453

<v SPEAKER_2>Doesn't mean it's off the table, but it's still not there.

00:15:35.773 --> 00:15:39.013

<v SPEAKER_1>But how old was the baby when that therapist was in your house watching this?

00:15:39.253 --> 00:15:40.693

<v SPEAKER_2>One and a half, one and a half.

00:15:41.233 --> 00:15:42.793

<v SPEAKER_1>Did you like that when they came in your house?

00:15:42.813 --> 00:15:54.633

<v SPEAKER_1>Because I can see the advantage of like, seeing a child in a pediatrician's office is one thing, but when they come into your home and you're watching the way the child interacts with the household and the built environment around them, as well as the siblings, caregivers, et cetera, or did that feel invasive to you?

00:15:55.053 --> 00:16:00.093

<v SPEAKER_2>No, honestly, that was helpful for my son because he also has massive anxiety.

00:16:00.113 --> 00:16:03.813

<v SPEAKER_2>And I didn't know what, you know, I didn't know what that looked like in a baby at the time.

00:16:04.193 --> 00:16:08.593

<v SPEAKER_2>But if we were to go somewhere, he would have been a totally different kid.

00:16:08.873 --> 00:16:11.693

<v SPEAKER_2>He does mask in public and he has his entire life.

00:16:11.933 --> 00:16:14.413

<v SPEAKER_2>And he wouldn't have been comfortable enough to sort of be himself.

00:16:14.433 --> 00:16:26.753

<v SPEAKER_2>So it was helpful to do this evaluation in my home with my toys, you know, his toys, be able to have them interact in the safety and comfort of his home because he is an anxious kid and always has been.

00:16:27.113 --> 00:16:34.973

<v SPEAKER_1>So you mentioned diagnosis that your son does not have a diagnosis of autism, but what conditions might a neurodivergent child have?

00:16:35.393 --> 00:16:36.553

<v SPEAKER_2>That's a really great question.

00:16:36.573 --> 00:16:40.593

<v SPEAKER_2>So neurodivergence can include so many things.

00:16:40.613 --> 00:16:42.433

<v SPEAKER_2>There's really no limit to it.

00:16:42.933 --> 00:16:52.853

<v SPEAKER_2>In my children's case, between all three of my kids, we've got ADHD, we've got anxiety, we've OCD, we have a giftedness.

00:16:52.893 --> 00:16:57.233

<v SPEAKER_2>My son is, it's not a diagnosis, but like identified as a gifted learner.

00:16:57.653 --> 00:16:59.833

<v SPEAKER_2>We have sensory processing disorder.

00:17:00.553 --> 00:17:03.473

<v SPEAKER_2>And for my daughter, ARFID as well, not a diagnosis.

00:17:03.533 --> 00:17:11.353

<v SPEAKER_2>I'm self diagnosing her at this point, but I know from my research so far that we're looking at ARFID, a lot of pieces to the puzzle.

00:17:11.713 --> 00:17:15.433

<v SPEAKER_1>Okay, can we talk about ARFID, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder?

00:17:15.753 --> 00:17:18.793

<v SPEAKER_1>You mentioned it to me before we started the interview that you suspect it.

00:17:19.233 --> 00:17:28.393

<v SPEAKER_1>It's one thing to suspect it, but then treatment by a qualified professional, like are you considering having her see a feeding therapist who specializes in this, or are you guys just gonna deal with it internally?

00:17:28.873 --> 00:17:35.493

<v SPEAKER_2>Well, we started, I did take her for a feeding team evaluation of sorts, did not find it that helpful, to be honest.

00:17:35.513 --> 00:17:38.453

<v SPEAKER_2>They kind of said, well, it's not sensory related, which it's not.

00:17:38.793 --> 00:17:45.693

<v SPEAKER_2>And I knew that it's anxiety and OCD related, because it is mostly about the visual piece of food.

00:17:46.093 --> 00:17:54.813

<v SPEAKER_2>If anything looks different at all, it's a total panic reaction that it might taste different, that it might be gross, that it might make her feel sick.

00:17:55.193 --> 00:17:58.593

<v SPEAKER_2>And that obsessing over that is where that comes in.

00:17:58.613 --> 00:18:04.413

<v SPEAKER_2>So they did the evaluation and sort of said, you can push forward with kind of a regular therapist.

00:18:04.613 --> 00:18:15.273

<v SPEAKER_2>What ended up happening was I used, I got, she has an OCD diagnosis, and we went through nocd.com, which I believe has another website name as well, but nocd.

00:18:15.713 --> 00:18:17.793

<v SPEAKER_2>And it's like better help, but for OCD.

00:18:18.113 --> 00:18:23.193

<v SPEAKER_2>So it's all virtual and they connect you with therapists in your state and it's covered by insurance mostly.

00:18:23.633 --> 00:18:30.173

<v SPEAKER_2>So I got her with an OCD therapist and that therapist helped us with ARFID.

00:18:30.673 --> 00:18:31.953

<v SPEAKER_2>Baby, baby steps.

00:18:32.133 --> 00:18:33.753

<v SPEAKER_2>We didn't stick with her for too long.

00:18:33.773 --> 00:18:38.173

<v SPEAKER_2>My daughter was kind of burning out, but I now know those basic steps to help her.

00:18:38.513 --> 00:18:42.453

<v SPEAKER_1>When you mentioned that you went to a feeding team evaluation, was it hospital-based by any chance?

00:18:42.813 --> 00:18:43.453

<v SPEAKER_2>Yes, it was.

00:18:43.473 --> 00:18:46.113

<v SPEAKER_2>It was our local children's hospital.

00:18:46.893 --> 00:19:16.393

<v SPEAKER_1>Just as a registered dietician working in the space, like I don't want you to give up on it just because, as you know, there's not, we were talking about this earlier too, like, I'm not everyone's cup of tea, you're not everyone's cup of tea, like especially with feeding therapy, like trying a few other times if you're up for it, but I know you are like, probably you're with end with all the therapy, but there are so many wonderful feeding therapists outside of the hospital setting that really do wonderful work with children with ARFID, that if it is affecting her development with regards to suboptimal nutrient intake, like there really are amazing therapists out there.

00:19:16.413 --> 00:19:25.533

<v SPEAKER_1>And I would hate to see families give up after one bad experience because we hear from families all the time that have had terrible experiences with feeding therapy, but persevered and pushed on to find that person who was that right fit.

00:19:25.553 --> 00:19:30.173

<v SPEAKER_1>And it really can be life-changing, not just only for the child, but for the entire family.

00:19:30.193 --> 00:19:34.693

<v SPEAKER_1>Because obviously, male times three times a day dealing with this is so much.

00:19:35.213 --> 00:19:36.573

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, I appreciate that.

00:19:36.593 --> 00:19:44.773

<v SPEAKER_2>And you make a good point and we should, and I talked to her just the other day as she enters the preteen years that, she's much more hesitant on help for anything.

00:19:44.793 --> 00:19:50.453

<v SPEAKER_2>But I said, this is an ongoing conversation and I'm always here and we can take some steps.

00:19:50.473 --> 00:19:55.153

<v SPEAKER_2>There are things we can do and meanwhile, there's things that I try to do at home.

00:19:55.673 --> 00:19:56.153

<v SPEAKER_2>It's a battle.

00:19:56.273 --> 00:19:57.653

<v SPEAKER_1>Hey, we're gonna take a quick.

00:19:57.993 --> 00:20:01.493

<v SPEAKER_1>My phone is bursting at the seams with photos of our kids.

00:20:01.633 --> 00:20:05.653

<v SPEAKER_1>And over the years, I've tried all sorts of different ways to store and share them with family members.

00:20:05.673 --> 00:20:14.033

<v SPEAKER_1>So for a while, I would just text out pictures to the grandparents and then we tried a shared photo album, but some people were using Google Photos and others preferred Facebook Messenger for pictures.

00:20:14.053 --> 00:20:16.233

<v SPEAKER_1>And the more kids we had, the messier it got.

00:20:16.573 --> 00:20:19.453

<v SPEAKER_1>Then I stumbled across the Family Album app.

00:20:19.813 --> 00:20:26.113

<v SPEAKER_1>The Family Album app was created to give parents a secure and easy way to share photos and videos with loved ones.

00:20:26.213 --> 00:20:29.973

<v SPEAKER_1>It's a totally secure personal haven for your family's memories.

00:20:30.293 --> 00:20:34.613

<v SPEAKER_1>I love that there's no third-party ads, no unwanted eyes, and it's totally free.

00:20:34.993 --> 00:20:39.993

<v SPEAKER_1>No more scrolling through endless feeds or searching folders to find the picture of the kid that you need right now.

00:20:40.373 --> 00:20:55.113

<v SPEAKER_1>Another cool feature about the Family Album app is you can order eight free photo prints every month to be delivered to your home, which if you think about how quickly your baby is changing, it's really nice to have some tangible pictures to hold onto or share to document the last month of your baby's life.

00:20:55.633 --> 00:21:11.073

<v SPEAKER_1>If you're looking to level up your photo sharing and organization game with a secure, one-stop, easy-to-use photo organization app, head over to the App Store, search Family Album, download the Family Album app, and start creating a legacy of love one photo at a time.

00:21:12.093 --> 00:21:13.313

<v SPEAKER_1>Break, but I'll be right back!

00:21:21.953 --> 00:21:24.909

<v SPEAKER_1>Okay, I wanna talk a little bit about the community that you've created.

00:21:24.969 --> 00:21:27.509

<v SPEAKER_1>I follow you on Instagram at On The Hard Days.

00:21:27.529 --> 00:21:34.389

<v SPEAKER_1>I know you have a podcast of the same name, but you also have a community for parents of mothers who are raising neurodivergent children.

00:21:34.409 --> 00:21:37.169

<v SPEAKER_1>And could you just share a little bit about what inspired you?

00:21:37.449 --> 00:21:39.609

<v SPEAKER_1>You are already dealing with so much in your own household.

00:21:39.629 --> 00:21:45.209

<v SPEAKER_1>I don't know how, as a full-time teacher, you're like, oh, I'm also gonna help all these other parents on the side, too, in addition to my kids.

00:21:45.449 --> 00:21:46.949

<v SPEAKER_1>How did this whole community start?

00:21:51.389 --> 00:21:52.169

<v SPEAKER_2>And tell them how it operates.

00:21:52.189 --> 00:21:57.329

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, so it actually started because I was drowning and I felt like a bad mom.

00:21:57.669 --> 00:22:03.429

<v SPEAKER_2>Again, my kids struggle with so many things and I was like, surely I should know how to help them.

00:22:03.689 --> 00:22:05.109

<v SPEAKER_2>And I honestly, I don't.

00:22:05.129 --> 00:22:14.689

<v SPEAKER_2>And I'm overwhelmed by the meltdowns and the aggression and the screaming and the food refusal and all of the pieces of their puzzles that I started to think that this was my fault.

00:22:15.069 --> 00:22:24.289

<v SPEAKER_2>Because I didn't have that help yet, because I didn't know anybody in my life, my real life who had a kid like mine, then I internalized all of this shame and guilt.

00:22:24.629 --> 00:22:33.709

<v SPEAKER_2>And so I started the podcast in January of 2021 because I wanted to just see and find out once and for all there were other people out there like me.

00:22:34.169 --> 00:22:39.849

<v SPEAKER_2>The podcast starts with me just talking, actually the very first episode is called My Rock Bottom Parenting Moment.

00:22:40.109 --> 00:22:47.389

<v SPEAKER_2>It's about my son with the way I spread peanut butter on his waffle when he was three and the massive meltdown that came from that.

00:22:47.829 --> 00:22:54.229

<v SPEAKER_2>But from there, I started to connect with moms on social media who said that their kids sounded like mine.

00:22:54.249 --> 00:22:56.649

<v SPEAKER_2>And I would say, hey, do you want to come on my podcast?

00:22:57.029 --> 00:22:57.729

<v SPEAKER_2>They said, yes.

00:22:58.169 --> 00:22:59.729

<v SPEAKER_2>Now I've got these moms sharing.

00:22:59.749 --> 00:23:04.409

<v SPEAKER_2>And that's now what the podcast continues to be two plus years in every week.

00:23:04.469 --> 00:23:07.149

<v SPEAKER_2>I share a mom's story, a regular mom.

00:23:07.169 --> 00:23:08.409

<v SPEAKER_2>It's not advice driven.

00:23:08.469 --> 00:23:14.989

<v SPEAKER_2>It's just moms who are saying, hey, this is what I go through and where I'm struggling and where I need help to validate my listeners.

00:23:15.509 --> 00:23:20.749

<v SPEAKER_2>So from there, the podcast was coming great, but I would find myself on a Zoom call with these moms.

00:23:21.129 --> 00:23:24.629

<v SPEAKER_2>We'd record and I'd be like, oh, okay, can we be friends?

00:23:24.649 --> 00:23:25.509

<v SPEAKER_2>Like, can I have your number?

00:23:25.809 --> 00:23:26.909

<v SPEAKER_2>I don't want to let you go.

00:23:26.929 --> 00:23:31.469

<v SPEAKER_2>I finally, finally met someone and now you're just going to disappear from my life.

00:23:31.489 --> 00:23:33.729

<v SPEAKER_2>And so I realized like, I'm desperate here.

00:23:33.989 --> 00:23:34.969

<v SPEAKER_2>I need friendships.

00:23:35.149 --> 00:23:43.529

<v SPEAKER_2>I need people that I can vent to and talk to on a regular basis with no judgment who can say, hey, my school drop-off really sucked this morning too.

00:23:43.629 --> 00:23:45.149

<v SPEAKER_2>Yes, like we're in the same boat.

00:23:45.489 --> 00:23:47.669

<v SPEAKER_2>And so I searched online, what can I join?

00:23:48.089 --> 00:23:54.229

<v SPEAKER_2>There's specific things for like autism or ADHD, but my kids have like 10,000 different things going on.

00:23:54.569 --> 00:23:58.649

<v SPEAKER_2>And I'm not even here for my kids anyway, I'm here for me because I need to feel better.

00:23:58.989 --> 00:24:00.129

<v SPEAKER_2>So I couldn't find anything.

00:24:00.409 --> 00:24:02.349

<v SPEAKER_2>I started my own, it's called Mothers Together.

00:24:02.929 --> 00:24:05.229

<v SPEAKER_2>And it started in August of 2021.

00:24:05.589 --> 00:24:06.449

<v SPEAKER_1>And now two years later.

00:24:06.469 --> 00:24:08.369

<v SPEAKER_1>So you're doing this in the pandemic on top of everything.

00:24:08.369 --> 00:24:08.729

<v SPEAKER_1>Oh my God.

00:24:08.789 --> 00:24:09.729

<v SPEAKER_2>Absolutely.

00:24:09.749 --> 00:24:11.169

<v SPEAKER_2>You know, good times, you know.

00:24:11.249 --> 00:24:13.189

<v SPEAKER_1>Literally rock bottom parenting moment.

00:24:13.409 --> 00:24:14.449

<v SPEAKER_1>I love what you're talking about.

00:24:14.709 --> 00:24:17.149

<v SPEAKER_1>Like asking someone on a podcast for their phone number.

00:24:17.169 --> 00:24:17.849

<v SPEAKER_1>It happens to be all the time.

00:24:17.869 --> 00:24:18.949

<v SPEAKER_1>I'm like, you're so cool.

00:24:18.969 --> 00:24:20.229

<v SPEAKER_1>Can we please stay in touch?

00:24:20.249 --> 00:24:21.889

<v SPEAKER_1>Cause like, like what's going to happen after this?

00:24:21.909 --> 00:24:27.309

<v SPEAKER_1>You know, you're going to go back to your busy world or you're going to go back to your crappy drop-off morning and not have anyone to talk about it.

00:24:27.469 --> 00:24:27.729

<v SPEAKER_1>Okay.

00:24:27.749 --> 00:24:41.389

<v SPEAKER_1>I want to ask your opinion too, because as someone who has run very large digital communities, how do you stop it from devolving into a total, just S-H-I-T talking fest, which sometimes I feel like parenting forums devolve into?

00:24:41.409 --> 00:24:49.529

<v SPEAKER_1>Like how do you, I know you're big into facilitating positive experiences and conversations, but like if you've had a really crappy day and you just want to vent, is there an opportunity for that there?

00:24:49.549 --> 00:24:51.129

<v SPEAKER_1>Or do we always have to turn it positive?

00:24:51.149 --> 00:24:54.949

<v SPEAKER_1>Like tell me how you control that, like tendency to go negative in parenting.

00:24:55.289 --> 00:24:56.909

<v SPEAKER_2>That is such a good question.

00:24:56.929 --> 00:25:00.569

<v SPEAKER_2>So I am like the opposite of the rainbows and sunshine kind of personality.

00:25:00.649 --> 00:25:04.169

<v SPEAKER_2>I find it fake and it honestly just makes me mad.

00:25:04.869 --> 00:25:13.209

<v SPEAKER_2>So I need real, I need to be able to say, I am this close to packing a bag and walking out my front door because I cannot do this today.

00:25:13.289 --> 00:25:22.409

<v SPEAKER_2>I'm out of spoons, I am burned out, I am sad, I am grieving this life that I thought I was gonna have, I'm scared for my child's future, all the things.

00:25:22.669 --> 00:25:24.749

<v SPEAKER_2>And so there's no sugar coating here.

00:25:25.109 --> 00:25:33.789

<v SPEAKER_2>The way that I have kept Mothers Together real, it is positive, but it's also real, is because we're not using Facebook.

00:25:34.149 --> 00:25:37.349

<v SPEAKER_2>We are not using any platform where you're typing.

00:25:37.609 --> 00:25:40.129

<v SPEAKER_2>No typing, no freaking typing.

00:25:40.369 --> 00:25:47.549

<v SPEAKER_2>So we are using, and I love this small business that's quickly growing, but we're using the Marco Polo Video Messaging app.

00:25:47.849 --> 00:25:50.589

<v SPEAKER_2>So this app is pretty straightforward and simple.

00:25:50.609 --> 00:25:59.289

<v SPEAKER_2>It's meant for families to connect if they live overseas or in the military or whatever, but essentially, you leave video messages for each other back and forth.

00:25:59.669 --> 00:26:07.309

<v SPEAKER_2>Mothers Together, we now have, I don't know, at the moment 500 members, but we've had probably about 1,000 come through our doors in the last two years.

00:26:07.689 --> 00:26:12.629

<v SPEAKER_2>And all of these moms are communicating on the Marco Polo Video Messaging app.

00:26:12.849 --> 00:26:18.029

<v SPEAKER_2>Though there is no place to type out judgemental comments, you have to say it to their face.

00:26:18.049 --> 00:26:19.109

<v SPEAKER_2>And who's gonna do that?

00:26:19.129 --> 00:26:20.069

<v SPEAKER_2>I love it.

00:26:20.089 --> 00:26:21.269

<v SPEAKER_1>That's genius.

00:26:21.289 --> 00:26:23.349

<v SPEAKER_1>Did you start with a Facebook group?

00:26:23.369 --> 00:26:32.269

<v SPEAKER_1>I mean, we closed a massive free Facebook group because it was just devolving into, as Facebook has a tendency to, just like a dearth of, it's just misinformation central.

00:26:32.469 --> 00:26:36.649

<v SPEAKER_1>And I couldn't, like you can't stop the tide, the freaking fire hose in your face every day.

00:26:36.909 --> 00:26:41.609

<v SPEAKER_1>But if you never started or allow people to write nasty things or snarky things, it can't happen.

00:26:41.629 --> 00:26:42.349

<v SPEAKER_1>That's a great idea.

00:26:42.369 --> 00:26:44.309

<v SPEAKER_1>Did you start there with the video messaging app?

00:26:44.729 --> 00:26:47.829

<v SPEAKER_2>The very first two months, I did not.

00:26:48.069 --> 00:26:50.189

<v SPEAKER_2>I had, I didn't really know what I was doing.

00:26:50.209 --> 00:26:55.269

<v SPEAKER_2>We were trying to do weekly Zooms and that was hard to coordinate with people's time zones and things like that.

00:26:55.509 --> 00:27:03.569

<v SPEAKER_2>But somebody, a mom suggested, she said, oh, what if we tried Marco Polo and it was a game changer and everything else after that was done?

00:27:03.809 --> 00:27:14.189

<v SPEAKER_2>The other piece to it is that when moms join mothers together, there's a little bit of a process, not a long one, but you're gonna fill out a form and you're gonna talk about your struggles.

00:27:14.349 --> 00:27:17.189

<v SPEAKER_2>You're gonna talk about what you are looking for for support.

00:27:17.549 --> 00:27:19.829

<v SPEAKER_2>Where are you struggling with yourself?

00:27:19.949 --> 00:27:22.269

<v SPEAKER_2>What are you feeling that's the hardest part?

00:27:22.289 --> 00:27:24.109

<v SPEAKER_2>Not what's your kid's hardest part.

00:27:24.469 --> 00:27:25.209

<v SPEAKER_1>What's your hardest part?

00:27:25.229 --> 00:27:26.169

<v SPEAKER_1>Yeah, you're making them talk about you.

00:27:26.329 --> 00:27:29.769

<v SPEAKER_1>I love that because so often we just default to like, let me tell you everything about my kid.

00:27:29.789 --> 00:27:30.549

<v SPEAKER_2>No, I don't care.

00:27:30.969 --> 00:27:32.309

<v SPEAKER_1>What's going on with you?

00:27:32.329 --> 00:27:37.389

<v SPEAKER_1>And I think that you have such a unique ability to keep it focused on the mom.

00:27:37.409 --> 00:27:42.049

<v SPEAKER_1>Like this is about you and how you're doing because again, you can't take care of other people if you're not taking care of yourself.

00:27:42.569 --> 00:27:44.469

<v SPEAKER_1>I know in your community, you match moms up.

00:27:44.489 --> 00:27:45.309

<v SPEAKER_1>So I think this is so cool.

00:27:45.329 --> 00:27:57.449

<v SPEAKER_1>You match them up either by diagnosis, geographical area, the age of the kid, is the point of when you join mothers together that you get matched up or, because that seems very one-dimensional, what if I don't like the person that you made me talk to?

00:27:57.549 --> 00:28:00.869

<v SPEAKER_1>Do you get to talk to other people or how does it work once you're in the community?

00:28:01.189 --> 00:28:01.769

<v SPEAKER_2>Great question.

00:28:02.009 --> 00:28:08.989

<v SPEAKER_2>And two, knowing that these moms have come through now for two plus years, originally it was very one-dimensional, like you said.

00:28:09.349 --> 00:28:14.349

<v SPEAKER_2>Over time, moms have stayed for years, months to years, and I've said, why are you still here?

00:28:14.669 --> 00:28:16.989

<v SPEAKER_2>I'm so glad that you are, but what is keeping you here?

00:28:17.009 --> 00:28:18.149

<v SPEAKER_2>You've already found your people.

00:28:18.489 --> 00:28:29.529

<v SPEAKER_2>There is a natural set of patterns that I have picked up on and noticed that moms go through when they receive validation and support and encouragement for a long period of time.

00:28:29.709 --> 00:28:33.889

<v SPEAKER_2>So it starts off very one-dimensional, connecting moms, which I'll explain in a second.

00:28:33.989 --> 00:28:37.529

<v SPEAKER_2>But from there, then they're like, okay, well, I feel a little bit better.

00:28:37.909 --> 00:28:42.109

<v SPEAKER_2>So let's talk now about the diagnoses or the sleep challenges or the feeding challenges.

00:28:42.429 --> 00:28:48.849

<v SPEAKER_2>Then after that, they go, all right, well, I feel better about that, but this is actually reminding me of my own childhood.

00:28:48.869 --> 00:28:53.309

<v SPEAKER_2>And now I'm starting to feel like I'm unpacking some stuff about my own life, and they do that.

00:28:53.529 --> 00:29:02.089

<v SPEAKER_2>And from there, the kind of the top pattern, the top stage, if you will, is that moms feel so much better that they want to start helping other moms.

00:29:02.429 --> 00:29:08.469

<v SPEAKER_2>So they say, hey, can I mentor moms who come into the Mothers Together community for the first time?

00:29:08.729 --> 00:29:10.309

<v SPEAKER_2>Can I be a captain of a group?

00:29:10.629 --> 00:29:12.669

<v SPEAKER_2>Can I help moms?

00:29:12.689 --> 00:29:14.409

<v SPEAKER_2>Because I feel more powerful now.

00:29:14.769 --> 00:29:17.289

<v SPEAKER_2>I feel more confident in myself and now I can help others.

00:29:17.489 --> 00:29:20.069

<v SPEAKER_2>When moms first join Mothers Together, they're not ready to help others.

00:29:20.409 --> 00:29:22.309

<v SPEAKER_2>They're like, I couldn't possibly help anybody else.

00:29:22.329 --> 00:29:23.429

<v SPEAKER_2>And that's totally fine.

00:29:23.709 --> 00:29:32.869

<v SPEAKER_2>So when I get moms through the door, the big focus is on feeling validated and relieved, feel that sense of relief right off the bat.

00:29:33.049 --> 00:29:36.589

<v SPEAKER_2>And so what happens is, and that is the focus of the community.

00:29:36.669 --> 00:29:41.549

<v SPEAKER_2>Nowhere in my description am I talking about getting info on your kids.

00:29:42.029 --> 00:29:43.089

<v SPEAKER_2>We all are drowning.

00:29:43.149 --> 00:29:43.929

<v SPEAKER_2>Tips are great.

00:29:43.949 --> 00:29:49.229

<v SPEAKER_2>Feel free to exchange tips and strategies tucked within the I'm struggling because.

00:29:49.789 --> 00:29:53.809

<v SPEAKER_2>And so when we match moms, they are going to fill out a little form.

00:29:54.009 --> 00:29:58.509

<v SPEAKER_2>We want as much information as they feel comfortable sharing because it's not just one thing.

00:29:58.709 --> 00:30:01.909

<v SPEAKER_2>We're putting them in a group, six to seven moms called the pod squad.

00:30:02.049 --> 00:30:03.429

<v SPEAKER_2>These become your people.

00:30:03.449 --> 00:30:07.229

<v SPEAKER_2>This is your home base, based on all of those factors we mentioned.

00:30:07.249 --> 00:30:14.809

<v SPEAKER_2>So a mom might say, you know, I'm a single recently divorced mom, and I'm really looking to connect with other single divorced moms.

00:30:14.949 --> 00:30:21.489

<v SPEAKER_2>So we're going to make sure that we can put a couple of people in there that fit that description, but also you say, oh, you know, I have triplets.

00:30:21.969 --> 00:30:25.109

<v SPEAKER_2>Okay, you're going to need to talk with other moms of multiples.

00:30:25.129 --> 00:30:27.209

<v SPEAKER_2>So let's put, let's make that match happen.

00:30:27.689 --> 00:30:33.809

<v SPEAKER_2>And so we make these small groups from there though, because you're right, like not everybody's going to be everyone's cup of tea.

00:30:34.189 --> 00:30:41.469

<v SPEAKER_2>So in the Marco Polo app, I have created over at this point, there's like 200 different threads that moms can join.

00:30:41.709 --> 00:30:49.849

<v SPEAKER_2>So they've got their home base, they got their people, but now you're like, but I have, my kid just recently got diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, and we're really struggling with socks.

00:30:50.229 --> 00:30:54.669

<v SPEAKER_2>So I'm going to go into the sensory thread and say, hey, my kid is struggling with socks.

00:30:54.689 --> 00:30:58.989

<v SPEAKER_2>Does anyone have any good recommendations for seamless socks and moms will jump on?

00:30:59.389 --> 00:31:07.029

<v SPEAKER_2>Essentially, you have access to all the moms and mothers together, not just the few in your squad, if you're comfortable with that, as many as you would like to meet.

00:31:07.249 --> 00:31:09.829

<v SPEAKER_1>Hey, we're going to take a quick break, but I'll be right back.

00:31:10.489 --> 00:31:18.129

<v SPEAKER_3>Have you ever wished that you had a direct line to your pediatrician to ask them all the questions that constantly crop up while parenting?

00:31:18.549 --> 00:31:21.329

<v SPEAKER_3>Well, we hear you, and we have been there too.

00:31:21.769 --> 00:31:25.169

<v SPEAKER_3>That's why we launched the Bites of Health podcast.

00:31:25.669 --> 00:31:30.729

<v SPEAKER_3>Every morning, we'll answer a commonly asked pediatric question in five minutes or less.

00:31:31.089 --> 00:31:35.949

<v SPEAKER_3>You can tune in while you're making your second cup of coffee or from the school drop-off line.

00:31:36.269 --> 00:31:36.889

<v SPEAKER_3>Who are we?

00:31:37.349 --> 00:31:37.889

<v SPEAKER_3>I'm Dr.

00:31:37.909 --> 00:31:43.389

<v SPEAKER_3>Jess Steyer, a public health scientist and also co-host of the Unbiased Science podcast.

00:31:43.949 --> 00:31:48.389

<v SPEAKER_3>Every day, I'll chat with one or both of your new pediatrician besties.

00:31:48.769 --> 00:31:49.149

<v SPEAKER_3>Dr.

00:31:49.169 --> 00:31:52.389

<v SPEAKER_3>Dina DiMaggio, a general pediatrician and Dr.

00:31:52.389 --> 00:31:55.509

<v SPEAKER_3>Anthony Porto, a pediatric gastroenterologist.

00:31:55.809 --> 00:32:02.969

<v SPEAKER_3>We'll talk about all the things related to our kids' health, from dealing with a colicky infant to navigating puberty in the teenage years.

00:32:03.429 --> 00:32:09.149

<v SPEAKER_3>So be sure to tune in to Bites of Health, now live on all podcast platforms.

00:32:18.505 --> 00:32:34.545

<v SPEAKER_1>Can you talk a little bit, you mentioned stereotypical judgments and the way that you felt when you first were entering this world with your own children, and then now with your work through Mothers Together, I'm sure there's sometimes, you know, misery loves company, let's all talk about, you know, all the terrible things that have happened to us.

00:32:34.565 --> 00:32:48.225

<v SPEAKER_1>But like, what are some of the stereotypical judgments that parents of neurodivergent children are dealing with on a daily basis, just to also help raise awareness about how this affects the mom's life in addition to the child's life?

00:32:48.565 --> 00:32:49.565

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, great question.

00:32:49.585 --> 00:32:55.765

<v SPEAKER_2>And I also do want to say that within each pod squad, there is a mix of both positive and negative stuff.

00:32:55.945 --> 00:32:56.505

<v SPEAKER_2>It's real.

00:32:56.525 --> 00:32:57.545

<v SPEAKER_2>It's like a friendship, right?

00:32:57.565 --> 00:33:07.825

<v SPEAKER_2>If you have a group chat with your best friends, you're both, hey, look, my kid just got an award today, and you put up a picture, or hey, my kid just tied their shoes for the first time, and you put up a picture or whatever.

00:33:08.205 --> 00:33:10.025

<v SPEAKER_2>It's celebration of the little things.

00:33:10.305 --> 00:33:13.185

<v SPEAKER_2>And it's also like, guys, I'm drowning, I was up all night.

00:33:13.305 --> 00:33:17.345

<v SPEAKER_2>So it's a mix of a normal, healthy, friendship level stuff.

00:33:17.365 --> 00:33:23.885

<v SPEAKER_1>It's real, as you say, it's not just the highlight reel, like Instagram, or just not the negative, snarky comments like Facebook.

00:33:24.345 --> 00:33:25.565

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, oh gosh, yeah, no.

00:33:25.865 --> 00:33:28.805

<v SPEAKER_2>And I build it as, hey, these are your friends, lifelong.

00:33:29.205 --> 00:33:30.585

<v SPEAKER_2>You might want to meet up someday.

00:33:30.765 --> 00:33:32.505

<v SPEAKER_2>These are the people you're going to be able to count on.

00:33:32.525 --> 00:33:35.605

<v SPEAKER_2>And obviously, like I said, it doesn't always match perfectly.

00:33:35.845 --> 00:33:37.485

<v SPEAKER_2>But most of the time, it does.

00:33:37.545 --> 00:33:38.645

<v SPEAKER_2>We're getting pretty good at this.

00:33:39.085 --> 00:33:43.005

<v SPEAKER_2>Your question about these judgmental things, so that's what I'm doing on Instagram.

00:33:43.105 --> 00:33:46.925

<v SPEAKER_2>I have this series, Why Moms of Neurodivergent Kids are Struggling.

00:33:47.225 --> 00:33:51.465

<v SPEAKER_2>Last year, I did a series, What Moms of Neurodivergent Kids Wish They Could Say Out Loud.

00:33:51.685 --> 00:33:52.885

<v SPEAKER_2>It's the same kind of concept.

00:33:53.065 --> 00:33:59.785

<v SPEAKER_2>And essentially, every day, I once asked moms, tell me what people say to you or the judgment that you get.

00:33:59.805 --> 00:34:02.465

<v SPEAKER_2>And I had hundreds of messages.

00:34:02.785 --> 00:34:06.905

<v SPEAKER_2>And honestly, the majority of them, I can totally relate to and I've heard them myself.

00:34:07.445 --> 00:34:11.285

<v SPEAKER_2>And so, there are all kinds of messages that we get.

00:34:11.285 --> 00:34:13.245

<v SPEAKER_2>And that's what I highlight on my reels every day.

00:34:13.265 --> 00:34:17.545

<v SPEAKER_2>I do a different one and a different thing that moms are struggling with because of those judgmental comments.

00:34:17.565 --> 00:34:19.425

<v SPEAKER_1>That's the ultimate user-generated content.

00:34:19.445 --> 00:34:21.205

<v SPEAKER_1>You're getting them to like write this for you.

00:34:21.305 --> 00:34:21.965

<v SPEAKER_1>Totally.

00:34:21.985 --> 00:34:22.485

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, exactly.

00:34:22.685 --> 00:34:23.825

<v SPEAKER_1>I couldn't make this stuff up.

00:34:23.845 --> 00:34:24.965

<v SPEAKER_1>You guys, it really happened.

00:34:25.125 --> 00:34:30.805

<v SPEAKER_1>So that kind of leads into my next question then, how can we support moms of neurodivergent children?

00:34:30.805 --> 00:34:31.965

<v SPEAKER_1>What is it that they need?

00:34:31.985 --> 00:34:37.805

<v SPEAKER_1>You've created this one-on-one niche community, but from a larger societal standpoint, what do you think it is that these moms need?

00:34:38.245 --> 00:34:40.645

<v SPEAKER_2>Understanding, compassion, kindness.

00:34:40.945 --> 00:34:41.765

<v SPEAKER_2>That's really it.

00:34:42.205 --> 00:34:43.025

<v SPEAKER_2>Validation.

00:34:43.345 --> 00:34:58.085

<v SPEAKER_2>The chance to just be seen and heard before anything else, before advice, before judgmental comments, before all you have to do is just, or have you ever tried, or when I was raising kids, it was this way or that way.

00:34:58.105 --> 00:34:59.005

<v SPEAKER_2>None of that.

00:34:59.425 --> 00:35:02.005

<v SPEAKER_2>Just simply, that sounds really hard.

00:35:02.405 --> 00:35:03.265

<v SPEAKER_2>Do you need help?

00:35:03.345 --> 00:35:04.145

<v SPEAKER_2>How can I help?

00:35:04.285 --> 00:35:05.285

<v SPEAKER_2>What can I do for you?

00:35:05.665 --> 00:35:07.265

<v SPEAKER_2>It's simple kindness.

00:35:07.285 --> 00:35:08.665

<v SPEAKER_2>It really just starts there.

00:35:09.105 --> 00:35:19.965

<v SPEAKER_2>Because if you have cried your eyes out over a tough school meeting, an IEP meeting, or a 504 meeting, there's something going on, and you just want to be able to say, guys, this motherhood thing is hard.

00:35:20.325 --> 00:35:21.625

<v SPEAKER_2>You cannot hear back.

00:35:21.645 --> 00:35:23.085

<v SPEAKER_2>Well, you wanted to have kids.

00:35:23.105 --> 00:35:23.845

<v SPEAKER_2>You wanted this.

00:35:24.185 --> 00:35:31.065

<v SPEAKER_2>Have you tried just telling the teacher, maybe all you need to do is take screens away, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:35:31.085 --> 00:35:32.825

<v SPEAKER_2>Just how about, god, I'm sorry.

00:35:32.845 --> 00:35:34.265

<v SPEAKER_2>It sounds really hard.

00:35:34.665 --> 00:35:35.405

<v SPEAKER_2>I feel for you.

00:35:35.425 --> 00:35:36.685

<v SPEAKER_2>I wish I could do something.

00:35:36.705 --> 00:35:41.925

<v SPEAKER_2>Just let me know if there's anything, if you want to go for a walk, if you want to talk, just kindness, just basic respect.

00:35:42.165 --> 00:35:43.025

<v SPEAKER_2>That is what we need.

00:35:43.045 --> 00:35:54.465

<v SPEAKER_1>That's such a good reminder too, because I think this whole area, especially when we start throwing around diagnoses and terms and neurodivergence, and if you're not in the thick of it in that world, it can feel very overwhelming.

00:35:54.485 --> 00:36:01.585

<v SPEAKER_1>And I have friends with children with different behavior patterns than my own kids, and I don't know what to say.

00:36:01.605 --> 00:36:04.905

<v SPEAKER_1>So sometimes I don't say anything, but you make a very good point.

00:36:05.165 --> 00:36:06.645

<v SPEAKER_1>That sounds really hard.

00:36:06.905 --> 00:36:07.945

<v SPEAKER_1>How can I help?

00:36:08.045 --> 00:36:09.105

<v SPEAKER_1>What do you need?

00:36:10.505 --> 00:36:17.285

<v SPEAKER_1>If your kid has cancer or your kid has autism, or the mom is crying and you don't know why or she doesn't want to talk about it, it doesn't matter.

00:36:17.285 --> 00:36:19.005

<v SPEAKER_1>All those questions are applicable.

00:36:19.045 --> 00:36:25.645

<v SPEAKER_1>And just taking it back to that level of kindness is such an important reminder that you don't have to be an expert in these fields.

00:36:25.665 --> 00:36:27.325

<v SPEAKER_1>You weren't an expert when you got into this.

00:36:27.825 --> 00:36:31.845

<v SPEAKER_1>And honestly, we usually interview credential feeding experts and I'm like, what's her background?

00:36:31.865 --> 00:36:32.945

<v SPEAKER_1>Is she a psychologist?

00:36:33.325 --> 00:36:35.065

<v SPEAKER_1>No, you don't need any of those backgrounds.

00:36:35.085 --> 00:36:36.585

<v SPEAKER_1>Because those people say, have you tried?

00:36:36.605 --> 00:36:37.105

<v SPEAKER_1>Have you done this?

00:36:37.305 --> 00:36:43.505

<v SPEAKER_1>And I appreciate the work they do, but it's the mom living every day, day to day, that needs to be supporting the other moms.

00:36:43.525 --> 00:36:51.625

<v SPEAKER_1>And I think there's a lot of moms listening who are like, yeah, we respect the work of credentialed experts, but we also respect our friends who are going through it.

00:36:51.645 --> 00:36:54.245

<v SPEAKER_1>And we also want to help our friends if they're having a hard time.

00:36:54.545 --> 00:36:54.985

<v SPEAKER_2>That's right.

00:36:55.285 --> 00:36:57.245

<v SPEAKER_2>Help comes from professionals.

00:36:57.585 --> 00:36:59.825

<v SPEAKER_2>Support comes from peers.

00:37:00.305 --> 00:37:01.605

<v SPEAKER_2>And why not?

00:37:01.625 --> 00:37:06.905

<v SPEAKER_2>There's so many of us, so many moms and dads who are struggling that are not talking about their challenges.

00:37:07.265 --> 00:37:09.285

<v SPEAKER_2>And you don't have to have a diagnosis for your child.

00:37:09.665 --> 00:37:10.465

<v SPEAKER_2>Is this normal?

00:37:10.525 --> 00:37:11.765

<v SPEAKER_2>Is this behavior typical?

00:37:11.925 --> 00:37:15.545

<v SPEAKER_2>What am I seeing from my child at one, two, three, four years of age?

00:37:15.705 --> 00:37:18.185

<v SPEAKER_2>There's no diagnosis yet for many, many kids.

00:37:18.425 --> 00:37:26.965

<v SPEAKER_2>And so it's who can I talk to to say I'm worried without them thinking that I'm questioning myself as a parent, that I don't know what I'm doing.

00:37:27.325 --> 00:37:29.345

<v SPEAKER_2>And so we have to have space for that.

00:37:29.605 --> 00:37:32.865

<v SPEAKER_2>And hopefully in Mothers Together, it starts small, right?

00:37:32.885 --> 00:37:34.085

<v SPEAKER_2>But it grows and grows.

00:37:34.105 --> 00:37:45.285

<v SPEAKER_2>And so even if you leave Mothers Together, you can still bring the concepts of support, validation, acknowledgement, encouragement to moms in your community or in the school that your kid goes to or whatever.

00:37:45.285 --> 00:37:53.225

<v SPEAKER_2>Like it's slowly but surely, that's the goal here, is to sort of spread this simple message of just, this is really hard, like really hard.

00:37:53.705 --> 00:37:59.085

<v SPEAKER_2>Not the kind of hard where you can go on a trip to Target and come back in two hours and feel better hard.

00:37:59.105 --> 00:38:01.445

<v SPEAKER_2>I mean like mental health suffering hard.

00:38:01.865 --> 00:38:05.285

<v SPEAKER_2>And there are people who can relate to that and support you through it.

00:38:05.625 --> 00:38:16.405

<v SPEAKER_1>Megan, where can our audience go to learn more about your work, about Mothers Together and to support your business, but also support this movement of supporting moms who are raising children who are neurodivergent?

00:38:16.705 --> 00:38:18.245

<v SPEAKER_2>Yeah, so I appreciate that.

00:38:18.265 --> 00:38:23.045

<v SPEAKER_2>So on Instagram, which is at on the hard days, but there's dots in between each word.

00:38:23.505 --> 00:38:29.805

<v SPEAKER_2>That is where I'm sharing my reels where moms have DMed me and said, this is something I'm struggling with.

00:38:30.125 --> 00:38:34.265

<v SPEAKER_2>The first place to support moms in general who are raising neurodivergent kids is there.

00:38:34.285 --> 00:38:41.745

<v SPEAKER_2>You can share those reels, you can pass them along, because sometimes it's hard to say to family members and friends what you're thinking and feeling.

00:38:42.325 --> 00:38:43.825

<v SPEAKER_2>And so I'm happy to help you with that.

00:38:44.145 --> 00:38:51.805

<v SPEAKER_2>In terms of the community piece, every time we open the doors to Mothers Together, we start off with a free virtual open house.

00:38:52.185 --> 00:38:55.145

<v SPEAKER_2>We think of Mothers Together as this big, beautiful, warm home.

00:38:55.205 --> 00:38:58.185

<v SPEAKER_2>Obviously, it's all virtual, but that's the metaphor here.

00:38:58.525 --> 00:39:15.045

<v SPEAKER_2>And so we invite you to the home, to come to the front door, to drop your bags at the door, and let us moms who are in Mothers Together take them off your hands, because we know how heavy they are, and we know how long you've been carrying them, and to say, hey, come meet some moms, come take a look around to see what we have here for you.

00:39:15.525 --> 00:39:18.205

<v SPEAKER_2>And so that open house is quarterly as well.

00:39:18.225 --> 00:39:19.545

<v SPEAKER_2>And like I said, it's totally free.

00:39:19.885 --> 00:39:24.905

<v SPEAKER_2>So go to motherstogether.com forward slash open house.

00:39:25.425 --> 00:39:28.125

<v SPEAKER_2>So motherstogether.com forward slash open house.

00:39:28.145 --> 00:39:31.045

<v SPEAKER_2>And you can always email me, DM me on Instagram.

00:39:31.045 --> 00:39:31.945

<v SPEAKER_2>Happy to chat with you.

00:39:32.225 --> 00:39:32.905

<v SPEAKER_1>That's awesome.

00:39:32.925 --> 00:39:33.885

<v SPEAKER_1>Well, thank you so much.

00:39:33.905 --> 00:39:36.285

<v SPEAKER_1>I really appreciate you, the work you're doing.

00:39:36.305 --> 00:39:42.945

<v SPEAKER_1>I don't know where you find the time to deal with your own family and the huge community.

00:39:42.965 --> 00:39:44.125

<v SPEAKER_1>But I appreciate, exactly.

00:39:44.145 --> 00:39:45.765

<v SPEAKER_1>But I love how real you are about it too.

00:39:45.765 --> 00:39:47.785

<v SPEAKER_1>It's like you're doing a wonderful job.

00:39:47.805 --> 00:39:49.165

<v SPEAKER_1>You're doing an incredible service.

00:39:49.225 --> 00:39:51.765

<v SPEAKER_1>And your children are so incredibly lucky to have you as their mom.

00:39:51.785 --> 00:39:53.165

<v SPEAKER_2>Thank you so much, Katie.

00:39:53.185 --> 00:39:53.745

<v SPEAKER_2>I appreciate it.

00:40:02.094 --> 00:40:05.994

<v SPEAKER_1>Like a lot of moms out there, I will totally admit, I am quite type A.

00:40:06.034 --> 00:40:07.794

<v SPEAKER_1>I am a total task master.

00:40:08.194 --> 00:40:17.054

<v SPEAKER_1>And one of my weekly work tasks is to review the feedback forms that our new students in my program, which is called Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro, that they leave for us.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So basically this form asks a lot of questions about you and your baby and your baby's feeding and medical history, any concerns that you might have or fears about starting solid foods.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And all of this data helps me when I'm answering parent questions inside of our weekly live office hours.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So I can then tailor my response to your particular baby and situation, right?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Because it's not a one size fits all approach when it comes to what your baby's eating, right?

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<v SPEAKER_1>Cause maybe your baby has an egg allergy or another mom in the program, she might really be struggling with how to make meat safe because she doesn't like to cook.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So this week on the form, there's a new mom named Janine and she wrote, and this is her quote, I researched a lot on the internet and I have a lot of books.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I saw a lot of other Baby-Led Weaning programs, but in the end, this is the one that I realized is what I'm really looking for as a new mom.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I love that Katie's program has a community and that there are videos for everything you need to know and how to make the foods.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And what I love the most is that there's already a meal plan ready.

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<v SPEAKER_1>And this just like stopped my heart because this is exactly why I created the Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I wanted to literally put everything that you need to know about starting solid food safely in one place with a super easy to follow 24 weeks meal plan.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Okay, there's 20 weeks because it's five foods a week.

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<v SPEAKER_1>I want your baby to get to those 100 new foods before they turn one.

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<v SPEAKER_1>Because I also know you have a lot going on as a new mom and hunting and pecking all over the internet to try to figure out what am I going to feed this baby?

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<v SPEAKER_1>That is not the solution.

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<v SPEAKER_1>So if you want to check out the Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro program, I would be honored to work with you and your baby.

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<v SPEAKER_1>You can head to babyledweaning.co to get started and hopefully I will be reading your feedback, soon, too.