I Didn't Do BLW with My First Baby(ies)...but Now I Want to with @theperfectmom Desiree Fortin

Desiree Fortin (0s):

I think by not doing baby led weaning with the triplets, they just didn't have that broad of a palette. And didn't get exposed to things like Cambria is getting exposed to. So being able to have these moments where we can introduce them to foods too, and they're like, Ooh, well, Cambria is going to eat it. I'm going to too.

Katie Ferraro (16s):

I'm Katie Ferraro, registered dietitian, college nutrition professor and mama of seven specializing in baby led weaning. Here on the baby led weaning made easy podcast, I help you strip out all of the noise and nonsense about feeding, leading you with the competence and knowledge you need to give your baby a safe start to solid foods using baby led weaning. Hey guys, welcome back today. We're talking to the second time mamas. What if you did not do baby led weaning with your first kid or first kids, and now maybe you have a baby and you learned about baby led weaning? And you're thinking about trying it, but you're still kind of on the fence.

Katie Ferraro (59s):

This episode is for you. Because one thing I love about baby led weaning is it is one of the very few things that appeals to a second-time mom, right? Like guaranteed 95% of the stuff you bought for your first kid. You know, like now that you're a little seasoned that you really didn't need it. And you're like, nah, like babies need to eat. Babies need to sleep. Babies need to be loved. And like, that's kind of it. I remember actually, when we were leaving the NICU with our quadruplets and we were like freaking out, they send them home like one at a time. Thank goodness. But like, it was starting to get a little heavy, like with the third one. And I remember like, oh my God, an organ to do. And this NICU nurse, her name was Kate. She was amazing. Shout out to Sharp Mary Birch hospital in San Diego.

Katie Ferraro (1m 39s):

Kate was like, you guys, it's not that big of a deal. If the baby cries, it's hungry. If it's hungry, you feed it. If the baby cries, cause it's wet, you change its diaper. If the baby cries, cause it's tired, you put it for a nap. Like this is not rocket science. And we're like, oh my gosh, like what Sage advice if you learn that stuff, right? Like, but when it comes to feeding, I think a lot of times parents are like, Ooh, my kids are not the greatest eaters. If they're picky toddlers, which happens to everybody, there's some degree of picky eating. It sets in for all people, all children, usually in the second year of life, it tends to be a lot less worse. So if you've done, baby led weaning. So baby led weaning is the thing that like parents of picky eaters are like, Hmm, I'll give this thing a try because there is research to show that babies who start solid foods with baby led approach are more likely to be independent eaters and less likely to be picky eaters.

Katie Ferraro (2m 25s):

So like there's lots of reasons why you might want to try it, but that's a big one for the second time parents. So today I'm so excited to interview my good friend, Desiree Fortin. She's on Instagram at the perfect mom. She's going to explain her handle. She does not think she's the perfect mom. It's about you guys being the perfect mom for your baby. She's my real life friend. We live in San Diego. She has triplets. I don't have a lot of really friends. It's just like, had to tell you that twice. I feel like you meet like a lot of people on Instagram, but like we've actually hung out in real life because her triplets are the same age as my quadruplets. So she decided to do baby led weaning with her six month old daughter, Cambria, but never heard of it before. So her triplets are almost six and our audience was like, dude, you gotta check out baby led weaning. And then she's like, wait, Katie, you also do baby led weaning.

Katie Ferraro (3m 7s):

Like we knew each other from big family stuff in San Diego and Instagram stuff. She didn't know that I did baby led weaning stuff for work. So anyway, we connected over that. I got to meet her baby, worked with her baby. A number of times when they were starting salts, it was so exciting. And she was so scared at first. And then so quickly just got over the hump because seeing really is believing. So I wanted to bring Desiree on the podcast because well, first of all, she's amazing. And I feel like you guys should know her, but also because I think she's a great embodiment of like your typical second time mom. Who's like, huh, I'm willing to give this a try. And she's going to share. What's been hard for her, but also a lot more about the things that she's loved about baby led weaning. So this is for you. If you're on the fence about starting baby led weaning with your not first baby and there's a lot of you guys out there, so I don't want you to feel alone.

Katie Ferraro (3m 51s):

So with no further ado, this is Desiree Fortin. She is on Instagram and social as the perfect mom. And we're talking about what do you do if you didn't do baby led weaning with your first baby or babies, but you want to try it out now. All right. Well, hi Desiree, thank you so much for joining me. I was so excited to chat with you.

Desiree Fortin (4m 9s):

I am so excited to be here. You know, I love you to pieces

Katie Ferraro (4m 12s):

You are like my. So I feel like I have a lot of Instagram friends, but then you are like the Instagram friend that I became real life friends with because we're both in San Diego. We both have an inappropriate number of children in a short period of time and you just get it. So I've like loved connecting with you. And especially we've gotten to kind of like bond over your daughter, Cambria doing baby led weaning. But I know you didn't always do baby led weaning. And so I wanted to chat with you because I think you're like a lot of parents that like discover baby led weaning on like, not your first kid and you're interested in it. So give us like a little bit of your backstory, like about your kids and how feeding went with the first ones and how it's going now. Like tell us all the things.

Desiree Fortin (4m 49s):

Yes, absolutely. Well, I am so excited to be here. I feel like, like you said, I feel like when we finally met, I'd never felt more seen as a mom of multiples. So I'm very excited. Yes. So I have triplets and I have a six month old. My triplets are now they're almost six. They'll be six this summer, but I did not do baby led weaning with them. I didn't even, I didn't, I didn't even know if it was a thing back then, but the triplets, we started feeding them purees and I mean, it was literally chaos. You have, I mean, you know how it is, you've got these, I have these three babies all lined up. We're like passing. It's not just me feeding them. I mean, most of the time it was me feeding them, but I've got like a friend or my husband next door, or they're trying to put stuff in their mouth and it made the biggest mess.

Desiree Fortin (5m 33s):

And I feel like we did it for a while too, because they were premature. And that was also something we were worried about. And you worry about them swallowing and what can they handle? And it was a really, just even choosing to, are they ready to start eating? Like there were so many questions and they were my first babies. So I feel like I just didn't know or just

Katie Ferraro (5m 55s):

You were just surviving, right?

Desiree Fortin (5m 56s):

Yeah.

Katie Ferraro (5m 57s):

Six months in. It's not like it's easy.

Desiree Fortin (5m 59s):

Oh gosh, no. Like not at all. Like not at all. Yeah. It was so crazy. And I, I mean, you grow up, I feel like just once you become a mom, you kind of just, I don't know, you either do what like your mom did or what you learned growing up or this and that. And so, yeah, I just started, I'm curious. This is just how it is. And I was definitely not the mom who like did a lot of homemade like purees. I did my best, but I would usually just go to the source. I'm sure I spent so much money. Times three for these three babies to have pureed food.

Katie Ferraro (6m 31s):

Okay. And then fast forward to Cambria, because I think it's like wild. Like I knew you obviously, cause my quadruplets are about the same age as Desiree's triplets were in San Diego. I feel like pre COVID. We would like be at Instagram events together. Like I'm sure I like would have run into you. But like I knew we knew each other like, like peripherally and then you DMed me on my baby led weaning account. And I was like, oh, that's weird. That's Desiree. But like I knew you had a baby, but I didn't like think you were in a baby led weaning. So I try not to be like pushy, but then you were like, wait a minute. I figured it out. You're the quadruplet mom. But you also do baby led weaning. Like how did you even figure out what baby led weaning? Just curious to know how people like learn about it.

Desiree Fortin (7m 8s):

Yes. It was crazy because I just, on my Instagram started sharing, like you were going to get ready to just start feeding Cambria solids. She's very interested. And I had people asking me, they said, are you going to do BLW? And I'm like, I had to Google it. I'm like, I don't know what this is. I've never heard of it before. And so I then of course started reading more about baby led weaning. And I like am asking my audience questions and everyone's like, oh my gosh, you've got to go see Katie checkout, baby led weaning. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I go to your page. And I'm like, are you kidding me? I know who this is. And it's like a light bulb went off. The connection was made. And then all of a sudden I'm like hooked to your page and your website reading all about baby led weaning.

Desiree Fortin (7m 50s):

And it blew my mind. I mean, it's just phenomenal. Amazing.

Katie Ferraro (7m 55s):

I love your enthusiasm about it because I could tell from the beginning I was like, cause some parents are really scared about it if they didn't do it. But the interesting thing about baby led weaning is it is one of the few things that appeals to a second time mom, right? Like guaranteed 95% of the CRP you bought before your first kid, like you don't need in the baby could live without. But I feel like, especially for parents, if you did traditional spoon-feeding and you're dealing with like just the trials and tribulations of picky eating that is associated with having toddlers, like they're looking for an alternative and it's like the one thing there'll be willing to try. So I was so excited when you wanted to try baby led weaning with Cambria

Desiree Fortin (8m 30s):

Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's so great. And you know, there's like you said, even just being like a second time, mom, the fact alone that I can give Cambria her food and not have to sit there and spoonfeed her while I can help with the triplets or get their food on the table. It's like, there's so many things about it, but just that aspect alone is I'm not like tied to putting food in her mouth. You know, she's actually learning how to do it on her own.

Katie Ferraro (8m 54s):

Okay. So when started, like I met you like right when she was just at six months of age. And so you came over to my house, which was super cool. We met in person for the first time, but you were one of the people I feel like I had known forever. And then the triplets were playing with the quads and your husband, Ryan is amazing. And he was just like keeping everyone under control. So we were feeding Cambria, take me back there. I think it was two weeks ago. How did you feel and what were you scared about when you were just starting solids with her doing baby led weaning? Cause you hadn't done it before

Desiree Fortin (9m 21s):

Yes. So overall I think I was very curious, very curious, very excited. You know, you do research and you learn what you can, but you really don't know until you start doing it and actually see it for yourself. And the thing that probably concerned me the most of course, was Cambria choking on, you know, cause you're giving her these foods that are, they are not curated. They are not like, you know, really smooth. And you're, I mean, they're not, they're soft, but like, you know, you're like, how is she going to do that? She doesn't have any teeth, you know? And when you see her actually be able to explore the food on her own and you know, swallow it, it really is a moment where you're like, wow, she can do this.

Desiree Fortin (10m 1s):

And even for Cambria, she has gagged a few times now. And it was, those moments were just reassuring for me. Like as a mom doing baby led weaning to show me that she is okay, she can recover from this. Gagging is okay, choking. That's a whole another story, but it's a normal thing that's happening. And it teaches her when she's eating as well. You know?

Katie Ferraro (10m 25s):

Okay. And one thing that's interesting about Desiree's family situation is that when it comes to the allergenic food introductions and we've talked a lot about this desert and I have, but like her husband, Ryan is legit allergic to dairy, not like, oh, I have lactose intolerance and it makes my stomach hurt. Like dude has like a full blown dairy allergy. And Cambria has had describe the reactions to dairy that she's had via your breast milk. Cause this was a consideration when we started solids for sure, with her.

Desiree Fortin (10m 53s):

Yeah. So Cambria, she, I don't have dairy anymore, but when I was eating dairy Cambria, she would break out in a rash over all over her whole body. And she also had green mucusy poop, which are both like indicators of, of a dairy allergy, dairy tolerance. And so I like backed up there and I was like, well, I'm seeing some connection here, family genetics

Katie Ferraro (11m 19s):

How old was that? Do you mind me asking? Cause a lot of like that green mucusy poop, if it's within the first few weeks, like it could just be a sign of intolerance, but like even like late into breastfeeding when you were starting solids, like if some dairy I believe slipped into your diet, she had had a reaction like she is super duper sensitive even at six months, right?

Desiree Fortin (11m 37s):

Yes. Yeah. So she, because there've been a couple of times where I'm like, well, I'm just going to like have like a little, like there was one time where, oh, one time I went to Starbucks and got this drink. I was so excited about it was like a coffee drink, but I didn't realize there was chocolate in it.

Katie Ferraro (11m 50s):

And I mean milk chocolate. Right?

Desiree Fortin (11m 53s):

Yeah. And she just, I mean, she was not only was she in so much discomfort, but it was like I said, like all the things, you know, she broke out in a rash. She had like lots of really, you know, mucusy group hoop and extremely uncomfortable. It really hurt her tummy. And so, and we've seen that again. And so once you see that consistency, you know, you kind of back away, but I am hoping to like just reintroduce her here and there and see if it's something that she can outgrow. Because sometimes I think that is the case with babies.

Katie Ferraro (12m 25s):

They do have like sure. But like allergy and just so you know, as an aside, I don't think I told you this, but after, because I met with you a few times now and so just the way like her potential dairy allergy has she hasn't been like confirmed with a skin test or blood test yet. Right. I was speaking to a pediatrician that I do a lot of work with for allergy stuff. We have an allergy course together and we've been doing a lot of allergy awareness stuff. I was explaining your situation. He was like, oh no, like that's serious. And that definitely is like, you're not overreacting. And to be honest, like in a lot of cases, moms will have had, okay. I had to remove dairy from my breast milk very early on in breastfeeding because the baby had some mucous or blood in the stool in the first few weeks of life. But they clearly have outgrown it.

Katie Ferraro (13m 5s):

And you can do that. I was talking to you a little about the progression of the dairy ladder, but the pediatrician was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like in your case, what you're describing, like that's pretty serious. And his recommendation was that you guys do follow through with the pediatric allergist to get, so have you met an allergist yet? He's so cute. I, we just got interrupted by her. Okay. Was that, was that, that was Jack?

Desiree Fortin (13m 27s):

Yes. I'm like, and what are you doing away? Why are you out of bed? I'm like go find your dad. So we have not, actually, we actually have a appointment with our pediatrician here coming up. And so I wanted to talk to her about it because, but I will, I will definitely mention that because I am concerned, especially knowing that it's in our genes with my husband and the triplets, like this is the difference. So too is like with the triplets, I remember them having a sensitivity to the dairy, but it was not like Cambria. Cambria, I mean, she, the rash, there's been more indicators

Katie Ferraro (13m 59s):

And she is like in distress when you like, she is uncomfortable. It's not like a mosquito bite looking hive that goes away. Yeah. So how that's kind of played out you guys, when we're, for example, when we were introducing, I did peanut with her the other day when I was at Desiree's house and normally I'll do peanut puffs. So I love the puff works, baby puffs. And we tried those they're these like Cheeto size, like the size of your adult pinky finger. There's no added salt. There's no sugar. They're perfect for trialing peanut protein. She mapped them. She loved them. But normally I would also trial, thinned out peanut butter because thick gloves of peanut butter are not safe for babies to eat, but you can thin it out. Usually with whole milk, full fat yogurt or with breast milk or formula, even unsweetened applesauce. I was asking desert and she's like, no, no, no, no, we didn't do any yogurt because she doesn't do dairy.

Katie Ferraro (14m 41s):

So we couldn't do it that way, which was fine. Cause she hasn't, we haven't formally introduced her to cow's milk protein because there's the potential we think she might be allergic to it. So we just thinned the peanut butter out with unsweetened applesauce, which she loved. And we served at preloaded spoon. So you can do purees and honor the self-feeding principles of baby led weaning. You just do the preloaded spoon approach, which she's doing pretty well at the spoon. Isn't she?

Desiree Fortin (15m 2s):

She is. Yeah, she's doing great. And I mean, even like today I gave her, I had like carrots and banana that I liked, I had put into a bowl and the, and they were more like pureed and I, and I gave her the spoon and she just went for it. So yeah. I mean, I think it's great that you can do that too. And this is giving them the opportunity to learn how to use the spoon, hold the spoon, bring it up to your mouth. You know.

Katie Ferraro (15m 25s):

Exactly. It's kind of amazing. And I have to say, desert is a big voice texter, like talking to the phone and then send the text. But Desiree sends the audio message, which I kind of love. Cause like you have to listen to it. I'm always like, am I going to be quiet? I can't hear what she's saying, but the other day you sent me a voice message in a literally like brought tears to my eyes. Cause you were like, I am so excited about cooking foods for her. And you were like, this is major for me when you admitted, like you're very open about it's one thing I love about your like social media, just persona is you are who you are on Instagram, just like you are in real life. And you're like, I don't love cooking. And here I am like, Ooh, what shrimp recipe am I gonna make for everybody? But that also Cambria can eat as a way to introduce her to shellfish. So could you talk a little bit about maybe how your relationship with food has changed, even if just a small amount from this experience of like making foods that the rest of your family can eat, but that Cambria can eat too.

Desiree Fortin (16m 15s):

Totally. Yeah. I, yeah, just like Katie said, I hate cooking. I hate it. I hate it. I hate thinking about what we're going to eat for dinner, all the things. But now with Cambria, like I find myself becoming more interested in excited where I'm like looking up recipes and I'm over here. Like, Ooh, I like, what is this? And I'm trying to find recipes that I know that you know, that Cambria can have, that my other kids would like. And it's actually really interesting to even make these foods for the, for the triplets too. Cause I'm just like the Cambria is going to be a better eater than my triplets.

Katie Ferraro (16m 48s):

You can play into that like competitive nature of older kids, which is like, I mean, you don't have to eat it, but like the six month old is eating it

Desiree Fortin (16m 56s):

Even just like fish fish, right? Congrats had fish. She likes fish. And so the triplets, knowing that Cambria had fish and like fish are now eating fish because Cambria had fish.

Katie Ferraro (17m 6s):

Dude. That's so amazing. It is like, it is one of, I think the biggest benefits of baby led weaning is you can actually even get your older kids involved in prepping the foods that the baby's going to eat. You know, tell her, what color is it? What does this look like? What does it feel like? Where does this food come from? I mean, all the things that like 3, 4, 5 and six year olds are interested in and you're kind of challenging them to try new foods and play into that competitive nature.

Desiree Fortin (17m 28s):

Well, and I think that's like part of the reason why, I mean just cause I think my triplets are, are picky eaters and you know, two might like one thing and the other one doesn't like it. And I just, I feel like that doesn't help when it comes to making dinners for everyone. And so I think by not doing baby led weaning with the triplets, they just didn't have that broad of a palette and didn't get exposed to things that Cambria was getting exposed to. So being able to have these moments where we can introduce them to foods too, and they're like, Ooh, well, if Cambria is going to eat it, I'm going to too. Then it creates more opportunity to give them new foods too, that the whole family can enjoy together, which I am.

Katie Ferraro (18m 8s):

Okay. You are like, since I've met you like a super, I feel like confident person. And I'm wondering if you have, I mean, I know you shared a little bit about some of your apprehensions, but do you have tips for parents who are maybe like a little bit scared? Like, okay, I didn't do this with my oldest or older kids. It sounds like a good idea, but I'm still on the fence about whether I want to pursue baby led weaning for my subsequent kid or kids. What would you recommend to someone trying to make that switch from traditional spoonfeeding to now doing baby led weaning with this kid?

Desiree Fortin (18m 36s):

For sure. Yes. So I would say, do your research like look, learn about baby led, weaning watch videos. I mean, it's exactly what I did. I have watched all these videos on your Instagram, so you understand it more. And when it comes to even probably I think that the gagging and choking is probably the number one thing that I was like concerned about. So I learned about gagging and choking. What do I look for? Make sure, you know CPR, those types of things so that what you do feel prepared, God forbid if something were to happen, but this journey has been so good. I mean, I would highly recommend it because it's just been such an amazing experience, not just for Cambria or myself, but our whole family.

Desiree Fortin (19m 16s):

And I think that when you're able to do your research and learn about something that you're interested in doing, and you feel confident in going that route, you do usually have a pretty good experience. But if you are concerned about some things, just like you said, Katie, if you don't feel comfortable giving them a sweet potato, like slice step, then mash it and get, have them use their spoon to speed, bring it to their mouse on their own. I think there are ways that you can still do baby led, weaning that offer a great experience for the baby too.

Katie Ferraro (19m 44s):

Okay. So Desiree, tell us like, where can we go? Well, obviously to see more videos of Cambria eating, but where is all your stuff so that we can learn more about you and your family? Cause I just love how open you are sharing. Like I don't love cooking, but now I'm doing it. Like you guys can do this too. Where are you at? On social and on the internet?

Desiree Fortin (20m 1s):

Yes. You can find me on Instagram @theperfectmom. And my blog is the perfect mom blog.com. Okay. You have to tell

Katie Ferraro (20m 7s):

Them. Oh, I remember. Okay. What was your old Instagram handle name?

Desiree Fortin (20m 13s):

My old Instagram was before trio and it was for my triplets.

Katie Ferraro (20m 17s):

Okay. So you have to change it, right? And I remember when you change it and I was like, dude, what? Where did they go? I like thought you disappeared Instagram. Could you please explain the rationale behind your new Instagram?

Desiree Fortin (20m 28s):

Yes. Yeah. I know the perfect, like the perfect mom, because we are all the perfect moms for our kids. You're the perfect mom for your kid. I'm the perfect mom for my kid. And that's what we have to remember. Instead of thinking, we have to have all of these things in a row. We need to be like this mom. We need to be like that, mom. No, you are the exact mom that you're supposed be for your child and you are perfect. Just the way that you are.

Katie Ferraro (20m 52s):

Oh, here kids are so lucky. You are really the perfect mom. I love you.

Desiree Fortin (20m 56s):

I love you.

Katie Ferraro (20m 56s):

We get to hang out in real life. Thank you for coming on the podcast. This was safe.

Desiree Fortin (20m 60s):

Thank you for having me. You're the best.

Katie Ferraro (21m 3s):

I hope you guys liked that interview with Desiree. I feel like that's always my outro and I always say, I hope you liked that interview, but I really hope you liked that interview. I hope her enthusiasm for feeding came through on the podcast, but also like she's not a professional. You guys, she told you straight up. She doesn't like cooking. She really hated spoonfeeding. She was super nervous about it, but just a few weeks in like, she has so much confidence in her baby's ability to feed herself. And he does like doing such amazing things for our family. And I'm not kidding. When I tell you, like, when I listened to that audio message that she sent me, like I was literally had tears in my eyes. Like it makes me so happy that starting solids with your baby can be such a positive experience. That actually makes other aspects of feeding your family enjoyable that were previously like unbearable.

Katie Ferraro (21m 45s):

So we went through a couple of things in there. I just want to mention, so Desiree did take my introduction to baby led weaning. My baby led weaning for beginners workshop. It's a great overview. If you have no idea what baby linguine is, or you want to learn more about the nuances of some of the things we were talking about, you can check out my free baby led weaning for beginners workshop. I'm going to link to it in the show notes for this episodes of you go to BLW podcast.com, just search the perfect mom. This episode will pop up and you can take that free workshop. I give everyone in the workshop, a copy of my hundred first foods list Desiree and her daughter Cambria are working their way through that. So you'll never wonder like what foods to feed your baby next. A couple of other things we mentioned in there, the peanut butter puffs that we did. So I mentioned how he couldn't do the thin down peanut butter with yogurt because Cambria has potentially allergic to dairy.

Katie Ferraro (22m 30s):

So we did the peanut butter puffs, which I love for introducing peanut protein to babies. We want to introduce peanut protein early and often to help prevent food allergy. The peanut puffs I use are from a brand called puff works. So puff works. Baby is the one you want to get. If you go to puffworks.com the code BABYLED. So baby led works for 10% off everything on their site, but make sure you get the baby one. If you're trying out baby led weaning. And another very important point that Desiree pointed out was that if you're scared about gagging and choking, which is the number one pain point when you're starting solid foods, taking a refresher CPR course is so essential. So I have an online CPR course that I take every quarter.

Katie Ferraro (23m 11s):

I love it just to like, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast, let alone like the exact specifics of what to do with the baby is choking. And this is what I do for work. So I take a refresher CPR course all the time. I highly recommend that you do the same. I know you took a CPR course before your baby was born with that was six months ago. Refresher, infant CPR course. There's a company I work with. They teach a $35 course, but you can get $10 off the course with my code, KATIE10. So it makes the course $25. Everybody who feeds your baby, I firmly believe should have infant refresher CPR course for 25 bucks. You can get everybody trained up. They also have certification. You need that for your work again, I'll link to that on the show notes page. For this episode, if you go to BLW podcast.com search the perfect mom, use the code, Katie10 and get 10% off that online CPR course.

Katie Ferraro (23m 59s):

So just a couple of things to get you started. If you guys are starting out, wishing you tons of luck. If you're thinking about embarking upon baby led weaning with your second or subsequent kid, I know you can do this. I'm here for you. Hop on that live baby led weaning for beginners workshop. I'll answer all of your questions and pretty soon you'll be just as confident at your baby's ability to sell feed as Desiree. The perfect mom. Thanks so much for listening. Bye now.