Guiding Grandparents Through Baby-Led Weaning with Aaron Larsen

Rula (0s):

I know because you're a podcast listener and since you listen to podcasts, you have no doubt heard podcast ads for online therapy. And I know you probably listen to podcasts because you're a busy parent, right? You've got a lot going on. You're in charge of your baby, of your family, maybe your job friendships, family relationships, and these things are stressful. If you're a approaching burnout or your anxiety or your stress is piling up, then yeah, high quality therapy can help. But here's the problem. Most online therapy platforms focus on connecting clients with licensed therapists, but they often fall short when it comes to help with medication management. Rula is a healthcare company and a provider group that's working to change that RULA provides in-network covered care. And RULA patients typically pay just $15 per therapy session when they're using insurance. So RULA has a wide range of licensed professionals, including psychiatrists who help you get the care that you need. RULA is the place to go for your mental healthcare, even if you're not sure exactly what you need, because affordable and accessible mental healthcare should not be out of reach. But too often it is. Thousands of people are already using RULA to get affordable high quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/weaning to get started. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them. Please help support this show. Let them know I sent you. That's RULA.com/weaning because you deserve mental health care that works with you and not against your budget.

Aaron Larsen (1m 35s):

That's the first place to start, is empathy. Grandparents are also very busy when they say something that sounds a little defensive, like, well, we spoonfed you and you turned out okay. You know, they really care about how they did as a parent themselves. And what they really want to hear from you is that sort of validation.

Katie Ferraro (1m 54s):

Hey there, I'm Katie Ferraro, registered dietitian, college nutrition professor and mom of seven specializing in Baby-led weaning. Here on the Baby-Led Weaning with Katie Ferraro podcast. I help you strip out all of the noise and nonsense about feeding, giving you the confidence and knowledge you need to give your baby a safe start to solid foods using baby-led weaning. If you are one of the lucky ones, your parents or your in-laws are involved as grandparents and in the life of your baby or your kids. And if you're super lucky, they might even help you with childcare. But there's often tension between adult parents and their parents, the grandparents, right, when it comes to starting solid foods, because so often adult parents complain that their parents will say things like, well, I spoonfed you and you turned out fine.

Katie Ferraro (2m 46s):

Hey, if you are set on doing baby-led weaning, but your baby's grandparents are not on board, you are not alone. Grandparents play such an important role in our baby's lives, but sometimes the way that they did things when we were babies, it doesn't exactly match up with what we're doing as parents now. So in today's episode, I'm joined by Aaron Larsen from the Grandparents Academy. So Aaron works with grandparents from around the world to help them feel seen, supported and better connected to their adult children and grandchildren. And while Aaron is not a feeding expert, he is an expert in communication and intergenerational relationships, and he's going to help us with language and scripts and prompts that we can use to help respectfully bring grandparents onboard with the baby-led weaning approach.

Katie Ferraro (3m 31s):

Now, every September during Grandparents week, Aaron hosts a week long free online summit. So I'm gonna be speaking about baby-led weaning and there are lots of different experts from lots of different areas like sleep and safety, who will be participating in Grandparents week this year as well. So if you would like to invite the grandparents in your life to sign up for these free grandparents trainings, they are amazing. Just go to grandparents academy.com/blw and join there. And if you're struggling a smidge with explaining Baby-Led Weaning to the grandparents in your life, or if you're nervous to talk to your mom or your mother-in-law about baby Led Weaning 'cause maybe you think they'll judge you, or maybe you're scared because you haven't even really done this thing yet, I have a free feeding guide for you.

Katie Ferraro (4m 18s):

It's called 11 Sample Scripts for Talking to Parents about Baby-Led Weaning. It's literally a free download, A PDF with the exact language that you can use to have this conversation that I think sometimes feels a lot more difficult in our head than it actually is in real life. These are 11 different conversation starters with the exact words that you can use to talk about baby-led weaning to the grandparents in your life. That free feeding guide with the sample scripts is available on my website. If you go to baby led weaning dot co slash resources, or if you click the link in the description, I'll send you the sample scripts. Aaron Larsen from the Grandparents Academy helped me write the scripts. They are solid gold. He has such a way with words.

Katie Ferraro (4m 58s):

You can get that free feeding guide with those sample scripts. Again, that's at baby led weaning.co/resources. You can sign up for grandparents week and fight the grandparents in your life. It's happening in September, grandparents academy.com/blw. And I am so excited for you to hear from Aaron today to learn about guiding grandparents through the Baby Led Weaning process. So if you've been struggling to explain Baby-Led Weaning to your baby's grandparents, or if you're just looking for like a better way to bring them into the conversation, then this is the episode for you.

Aaron Larsen (5m 32s):

I remember being a first time parent how scary it was just to think about how to feed the baby. And our oldest, she's seven now, but I remember when my wife started to introduce solid foods to her and I actually wasn't completely on the same page, it kind of took me by surprise. So I was really worried about her choking and and what would happen. And then, you know, eventually I I just kind of came on board because my wife was, was so gracious with me. She took the time to make sure I understood, understood what the purpose of this was, why we were doing it this way. And that really helped. I remember one time we took our, our daughter over to my grandma's house.

Aaron Larsen (6m 15s):

Now this is my grandma, she's in her eighties now. And it was so interesting because I took the knowledge that I learned from my wife and then I was able to kind of relay to her because she was unfamiliar with a whole baby-led weaning process. She just wasn't really familiar and, and she wanted to spoonfed and she had all these suggestions and I, I just told her, you know, some of the benefits. I explained the benefits. And then the other thing that was bothered her was like, it kind of got messy. Like we, we liked to use sweet potato and my granny was just like all, she was just like making sure every little spot was cleaned up like right when it happened.

Aaron Larsen (6m 57s):

And, and we just kind of like had to be very gentle with her and say, Hey, we got this granny, we, we got it. It's gonna be okay. We'll clean up all the mess. Don't even worry about it. It's gonna be okay. But it can be so interesting when, when you're, when you're interacting with other generations who have done things differently, I think there's an opportunity for you to come together and there's an, there's an approach that can be more successful than if you were just to dig into your own ways.

Katie Ferraro (7m 29s):

And I love that you're mentioning the mask 'cause we're definitely gonna talk about that as well as some other barriers. I think it's amazing that your grandmother is still alive, so your kids have a great grandmother. That's fantastic. Now Aaron, do you remember the second child when you started Solid Foods, any difference in your approach, your attitude? 'cause you mentioned with your oldest that you and your wife weren't necessarily on the same page. And we're gonna cover some of those issues in this conversation today. 'cause parents, you know, adult children aren't always on the same pages. They're adults or they're adult parents, I guess grandparents of the baby. But what about your second baby? Were you guys more on the same page or was it just as stressful? What do you remember?

Aaron Larsen (8m 4s):

Yeah, it was, we, we were, it was still stressful because every kid is different. Anyone who has more than one kid knows that children can be very different from each other and have different preferences. However, I was able to go into this more confidently 'cause I understood what to expect in terms of how we were introducing the solid foods and kind of what is gagging, what is choking, understanding the differences between the two, the second time around that was very helpful. So I would say that yeah, the stresses are still there, but if you, once you've been through it the first time, you kind of understand that you're gonna get through this, it's gonna be okay.

Katie Ferraro (8m 43s):

Now Aaron, you worked very closely with grandparents through your work with the Grandparents academy, which you founded. I'm curious, and I know those listening are as well, we wanna know more about your background. How did you get interested in this line of work? Because it's a very specific niche. Everyone has grandparents, whether they know them or not, I guess, but they don't always choose to make it their life's work. So what's the story there?

Aaron Larsen (9m 4s):

Yeah, well I was blessed with some amazing grandparents throughout my life growing up. But it wasn't really until after college. When I graduated in 2008, during the great recession, I graduated magna cum laude and magna cum jobless. And I ended up living with my 80-year-old grandma at the time. And so I got to understand what that's like for a grandparent, kind of have that perspective. And I got to know her better. And ended, ended up being one of the biggest blessings of my life. And then with a renewed sense of purpose, I moved in with another set of grandparents to help care for my grandpa for three years. So it was kind of like my grand school years. My peers went to grad school because they were trying to figure out what to do.

Aaron Larsen (9m 46s):

And, and I just lived with my grandparents for four years and, and I ended up learning all sorts of valuable life lessons. And that experience really revealed what I, I believe is a calling for me. I, I felt that I looked at my life and thought, man, this is gonna go by fast. 'cause I kind of saw the end of my grandpa's life and this is gonna go by fast. So what is it that I can do with the time that I have in my life to do something that's meaningful and purposeful? And I've always been passionate about my relationship with my grandparents. I feel like it's something that's unique and magical that a lot of grandchildren, they think about their grandparents in a special and unique way.

Aaron Larsen (10m 26s):

And so I thought, what can I do to encourage that? And so I, I built a website while I was living with my granny, and this was in 2011 and called the Grandparents Academy. It was the first online academy for grandparents. And over the years I've just been creating resources to help to nurture those strong bonds between grandparents and grandkids.

Katie Ferraro (10m 47s):

I love your website, I love that you've been doing this since 2011. So you have like a very big kind of compendium of resources for parents, some of whom maybe have great relationships with their parents and the baby's grandparents or children's grandparents and some that don't. Tell us a little bit about the topics that you cover in the grandparents academy, because I'm not saying it's all over the board, but it definitely spans like a quite a large range of, especially regarding like intergenerational relationships.

Aaron Larsen (11m 13s):

Sure. And there are many different generations and, and I would say ages and stages of grandparents, different circumstances, as you mentioned. We have resources for grandparents who are just becoming grandparents and they want to, they're excited, they wanna understand how do they put their best foot forward in, in terms of being the best grandparent they can be. And there's a lot of grandparents feel that way as they're going into it. And, and then we get into grandparents who most of them are grandparenting from a distance. So how do they overcome this distance? And what many people don't realize is grandparents actually experience a grief, a sort of grief from being separated from their grandkids and not being with them all the time.

Aaron Larsen (11m 57s):

They really wanna be with them, but they have a lot of competing responsibilities and priorities, especially the, the sandwich generation who might be also caring for their own parents. They might be still in the workforce. They got their own life that, that they're working on, but they still love those grandkids so much. And the parents too, they, the parents listening, they love you too. So if they are overly excited about, about the, the grandkids, yes, they love them, but they love you too, believe me. And then there, there are grandparents who, you know, they, they wanna really make an impact. So we have resources that are, that are more focused on transferring values. And we, we really believe that legacy is not so much about stuff, but it's about significance.

Aaron Larsen (12m 39s):

And how do we, how do we cultivate together with parents? How do you partner with parents to cultivate values like generosity and gratitude and, and kindness in this new generation. And then finally, you mentioned, you know, relationships. We, we have a lot of resources for grandparents where there's a rift going on. There could be estrangement, maybe, maybe the parents have gone no contact with the grandparents and, and there's some work that needs to be done to reconcile the grandparents and the parents. There needs to be some awareness that is, that is raised and about boundaries perhaps and and other things.

Aaron Larsen (13m 19s):

And we have a lot of resources that help grandparents really take the lead and reconcile that relationship.

Katie Ferraro (13m 28s):

Hey, we're gonna take a quick break, but I'll be right back.

KiwiCo (13m 35s):

When I was a kid, one of my favorite memories was my dad used to take me outside on Saturdays and let me help him fix the sprinklers in our yard, which somehow were perpetually broken. At first I thought it was just about, you know, getting the water back on. But he would show me how to figure out where the problem was and how to take things apart and put them back together. It didn't feel like work. I kind of felt, oh my gosh, I'm solving a puzzle. And without even realizing it, I was learning problem solving and patience and that satisfaction of fixing something with my own two hands. And that's exactly why I love Kiwi Co because our kids get that same spark of learning through fun hands-on projects. And I know that you're also in the baby and the toddler stage and Kiwi Co has crates for you too. The Kiwi co Hand a crate is designed for ages zero to 36 months with research backed activities for babies that engage all five senses. And for your curious toddlers, the Kiwi Co koala crate for ages three to six helps little scientists discover the world through pretend play in our house. The kids get so proud when they finish a project. My twin son Gus, he just built a mini catapult and the look on his face when he launched his first pompom across the room, just priceless. And the best part is that these projects, they don't just sit on a shelf, they get used and played with over and over again. So if you want something that keeps your kids engaged off of screens, excited about learning, Kiwi Co makes it easy to spend quality time together while building creativity and confidence so you and your kids can tinker, create, and innovate with Kiwi Co as well. Get up to 50% off your first crate@kiwico.com promo code weaning. That's up to 50% off your first crate at K-I-W-I-C-O.com promo code weaning.

Katie Ferraro (15m 28s):

It's so interesting listening to you kind of do the rundown of all the different ways you can have a relationship as a grandparent, either with your adult children or your grandchildren. And I kind of makes me think of my, I know my mother-in-law, I spend a lot of time with her. She comes and visits our family. We're in San Diego, she's in Texas, she's come every month. My oldest is 10, almost 11. So he like counted the number of trips she's had even through the pandemic, everything. And we have such a great relationship with her. And she talks about a lot of her friends, she's a college professor, they're mostly in their seventies, but a great number of her friends are raising their own grandchildren. A lot of issues with addiction or abandonment and mean, some of the stories are, are heartbreaking. They're, they're, they're trying to retire and they're like, but I need to potty train.

Katie Ferraro (16m 11s):

I mean, it's so wild. The different, just the different layers. I mean, how unique families are, and I know I've chatted with you offline about some of the stories that you hear, some that will break your heart and other ones where you work with families where they're estranged, they have no contact and they eventually kind of come back around and begin to have a relationship again. So I love to hear those success stories and I think I love this idea of, of celebrating the differences between the generations because sometimes it just feels so polarizing. Now I know our audience, a lot of them are familiar with the challenges that they're personally facing as new parents with their own parents, okay? And especially when it comes to starting solid foods, like you mentioned, we hear parents of babies all the time in my world saying things like, okay, trying to propose this idea of baby led weaning to your own mom or your mother-in-law.

Katie Ferraro (16m 55s):

And they kind of shoot back with things like, well, I spoonfed you and you turned out fine. So I'd like to ask you to help us put ourselves as the adult children in the grandparents shoes, what are some common challenges that they face when they're trying to support their adult children's parenting choices?

Aaron Larsen (17m 13s):

That's the first place to start, is empathy with any sort of relationship. That's a solid place to start. And you have to understand, I, I think this generation of parents need to understand that grandparents are also very busy. They, they, like I said, they could be caregiving for other relatives or family members. They have oftentimes, they're still working, they got a lot going on in their own lives. And so the idea of learning something new can be a little daunting to them. Now, they also have this great love, not only again for the grandchildren, but you as well as parents. And when they say something that sounds a little defensive, like, well, we spoonfed you and you turned out okay, you can kind of peel back the layers a little bit and and hear that what they're really saying is, you know, they really care about how they did as a parent themselves.

Aaron Larsen (18m 8s):

And what they really want to hear from you is, is that sort of validation. Because how often have you told your parents that they did a really good job and you're grateful for what they put into it? Think about the time that you're spending overcoming the challenges with your baby or your children, and think about all the challenges that they faced as well. A lot of 'em are same challenges, but they got through it and you're here. How many times have, have we, you know, expressed that gratitude? So I think what we really, they really want to hear is, you know, they wanna hear that you think they did a great job. And that's a really good place to start when you're faced with something like that and just say, you know, something like, you know what, you're right.

Aaron Larsen (18m 51s):

You're right. You did a great job and I'm so grateful for all that you did for us. And then you get into the, well, you know, we learned about this approach and it, it's kind of, it's a little bit newer and we, there's more information about it now that's available than, than was a long time ago. And we've decided, my husband and I, or my, my wife and I, we've decided that we really want to take this approach. We're committed to it and we'd love to involve you in the process. So that's the other part is grandparents want to be invited into the process. They really do, even if they push back a little bit, that pushback is more about validation in most cases than others. They do wanna be proud of the process.

Katie Ferraro (19m 31s):

My mom's coming over for dinner tonight. They're actually, my parents are approaching their 50th wedding anniversary this summer and I've been helping them a ton with planning this big party and they invited like 350 people. I'm doing all the admin for like, this is not my strong point for the, and we've been working a lot closer together and like some days I wanna pull my hair out, but my mom wants to pull her hair out with me. Like, why do you talk so fast? Why do you type so fast? Like, why can't you slow down? It's like, okay, you have to kind of get yourself into a different mindset when you're working with a different generation because, and, and be, I guess I should be more appreciative and also say thank you to her Because it sounds weird to say, Hey, you did a great job with me, but like, wow, you went through all these things too and I never knew about it. So I appreciate all the things you, you did. So that's a, a very good reminder for those of us here, you know, dealing with babies, but also with, with grandparents.

Katie Ferraro (20m 17s):

So I know that many of our parents listening, they, they're interested in baby-led weaning, but their own parents may not understand or support this approach. So Aaron, I'm curious how parents can open up that conversation with the grandparents in a way that's respectful and effective. So you're not, I'm I'm not discounting what you did with spoonfeeding. I'm not saying this is the best and the only way, but we wanna encourage parents to kind of stand their ground and say, this is the approach that we've decided on for our child, and how can we involve the grandparents again in a way that's respectful but also effective.

Aaron Larsen (20m 50s):

Yeah, yeah. One of the best ways to do that is first model that, so when, when you're visiting some sometime, show them what you're doing and, and say invite them in from the beginning. Like, Hey, mom or, or dad, this is, this is something that we're committed to. This is approach is a little bit different than, you know, probably how we were brought up, but it's something we're really committed to or interested in. And here are the benefits that we learned about this and know the benefits. Like what are the, the three, not don't overload them like you're, they're gonna s but agree. What are the top one or two benefits that, that you're really interested in as parents that you want to communicate with them so that they can get on board with that.

Aaron Larsen (21m 31s):

'cause at the end of the day, they care about your children as well. They want the what's best for your children. And so if you communicate what those benefits are, they can get on board with that, but they don't know unless you tell them. So you gotta, you gotta share that with them. So you model it, you go through it together with them, you would invite them to, to be part of that. Maybe just have, have them maybe help to prepare some of the items. You got your list, your food list, right? And you're going through, you're picking what you, you wanna introduce to the, the baby and have some input in that. Invite them in the process. And then the other part is, it's just really important, like that part about gagging and choking.

Aaron Larsen (22m 14s):

That can be really scary for anybody really, but grandparents too, because they don't want anything to happen to their grandbaby. And so make sure that they have that, the resources about that and, and you could tell them the differences and about that, but you could also share with them, maybe it's an article, maybe it's a class, maybe it, it's something else through your, your website, Katie, you know, you have lots of resources direct the grandparents to your website and they can learn more about it

Katie Ferraro (22m 46s):

From the first time that we met Aaron, I love the language that you use. I'm like, oh my gosh, this guy knows his stuff. So I, I know I told you this, but I read about the grandparents academy in a quote by you in an article in the Wall Street Journal, like the actual physical paper. I get it at my house and read it. And it was about communicating with parenting practices in different generations. And I was like, I'm gonna look this guy up. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I love that all your language is really, really positive. And that's something that I value and we try to share a lot because historically baby led weaning has had a very unfortunately negative, you know, aspect to it where people think, oh, it's so judgmental and you just say all these things babies can't do. And instead, I really wanna share all the foods that babies can eat. So I love the positive language that you used and I know that you'll be able to help us because adult children listening who want to educate their parents lovingly about modern parenting practices, what sort of language should they use to not make the grandparents feel judged or outdated?

Aaron Larsen (23m 44s):

Yeah, thank you. I use what I call the three Gs of growth. When, when it comes to communication, and I think this is for grandparents can use it, parents can use it, anyone else. But the three Gs I use are gratitude, grit, and grace. Okay? And, and so when we talk about gratitude, I always lead with gratitude. Gratitude is expressing that appreciation. It often helps to put whoever you're talking to in a place where they feel appreciated, they're open to new ideas, they're, they're less defensive. If you first just express your appreciation for them and, and, and not only just for them, but for their willingness to try something new, I think that's something to celebrate.

Aaron Larsen (24m 27s):

So come from a place of appreciation and celebration. Hey, thanks so much for wanting to learn. I know this is a new approach to you. I just, it means so much to us as new parents as we're raising this baby that, that you're willing to be on the journey with us. So really inclusive, sort of appreciative language. Start with that. And then when it comes to grit and grace, so grit is, to me it is persistence and it's sticking to something. But grit is also making sure that you're prepared with the information ahead of time you're doing the work so that you're not, you're not saying to the grandparents, oh go learn this though.

Aaron Larsen (25m 7s):

It's, it's good to like give them recommendations for additional learning, of course, but, but it's not putting the work on them. It's more like you're coming prepared, you're gonna tell, you're gonna educate them, Hey, this is why we're doing it. Here are a couple benefits. Like you're not explaining yourself because you're not explaining yourself because ultimately, of course, this is your decision as parents and your right to raise your children the way you wanna raise it, raise your children, but you want to come prepared with the information of, you know, why is this beneficial so that they can get on board with it easier because they want what, what is best for their grandbaby? So tell them why is it best for their grandbaby? Here's X, Y, and Z.

Aaron Larsen (25m 47s):

So that's the grit is, is coming prepared and being persistent. And then the grace comes when ultimately when they do something wrong or they say something that is, feels off putting or something like that, or, or like they're judging you as a parent. Most of the time they're, they're not, most of the time it's coming from a place on their end where they're feeling defensive. But again, if you've started by validating them and and appreciating them, they're less likely to say something like, oh, well you turned out okay. Something like that. You know, you, you put 'em in a, in a nice place in the first part of the communication. But if they happen to say something that, you know, you find a little offensive or they mess up somehow and, and in the process maybe, I'm trying to think of how they would, they would mess up the process.

Aaron Larsen (26m 36s):

Maybe they've, they've fed a different food than, than what was on your list. Something like that. Communicate that, but do it in, in a graceful way that you would actually prefer this, them sticking to this list because you've done the research and this is why. And give them a pass, give them some grace when it comes to that. I think a lot of times in what I see from my perspective and helping a lot of families with estrangement and, and a lot of parents who are going non talk, no contact with their parents, a lot of times it's over little things that could have been resolved with some respectful communication beforehand with some grace from both parties.

Aaron Larsen (27m 17s):

So it didn't lead to something that is just totally heart wrenching for, for everybody involved.

Katie Ferraro (27m 23s):

I'll tell you what, one of the big ones is, it's sugar and added sugar. Like parents, they'll hear the American accounting, pediatrics recommends no added sugar for children up until age two. And what they convert that to is, you know, sugar is the worst thing ever. And my mother, my mother-in-law gave the baby a bite of ice cream. And it sounds extreme, but I have heard issues of like parents going no contact over that stuff. They're disrespecting my decisions. And again, you have your own inter family and interpersonal ways of communicating. But I mean, as a registered dietitian, I like to remind parents that a little bit of sugar, it's not the end of the world. Sure, it's not ideal. I know it wasn't on the 100 First Foods list, but is it the end of the world if the baby gets a bite of a donut or gets to not on some salty pizza crust, if they're doing it in a safe manner, it's a sometimes food.

Katie Ferraro (28m 7s):

Like let's step back and appreciate that the grandparents are taking interest in what the child's eating. Now obviously if it's like every single day you go to their house and it's flaming hot Cheetos or something for the baby, that's not ideal. But, but just to have like that, that idea of grace, which is okay, we can talk about this. Thank you for your interest in helping feed the baby moving forward. We really would prefer that the baby not try any added sugar. So they're learning how to taste the real foods instead of the added sugar. I mean, I can help with that sort of language, but I love this big idea of just giving them a little bit of grace. Now, in your experience, what do you think helps grandparents feel more empowered and more included? So I know especially when it comes to like, you know, modern day parenting, things like feeding routines, sleep routines look very different from when grandparents raise us, their adult children.

Katie Ferraro (28m 54s):

How can we make them feel more empowered and included?

Aaron Larsen (28m 57s):

Yeah, yeah. Well, I would say that I know parents, I, I'm one myself. I have 7-year-old and almost a 3-year-old and life is super busy and I understand all parents feel that life is super busy. Grandparents have busy life too. So I would say as, as much as possible, if you could incorporate a time, maybe it's it's during a we you have distance grandparents, maybe they're in person or in terms of in the same town. But if you can set a time, maybe it's the right schedules, like a every week or every other week, it just depends on your family dynamics and, but try to try to work them into your calendar. I mean it's, it's really, it's really beneficial for not only the grandparents to have that relationship, but for your child to have a relationship with a grandparent figure who cares about them and and will be there for them.

Aaron Larsen (29m 47s):

That's a relationship that is very unique as they're growing up throughout the rest of their life. To have someone who understands their family history, who knows a lot about their parents, you right, they know a lot about your history, they can help to, they can help your child become, and studies show that's more resilient can, it can help with depression, it can help with, with loneliness on both, on both part for both parties. So it's a big benefit to do everything you can to work them into your calendar and, and initiate it. I know, trust me, I know it's hard, there's a lot going on, but see what you can do. A lot of times grandparents are very interested in it, but they won't take the initiative because they feel like they don't want to interrupt your life and they don't wanna be a burden on what you got going on.

Aaron Larsen (30m 37s):

So I think if you are able to take that step, that can be a big thing. And then the other part is celebration. I mean, how, how many rites of you think about your life and the different rites and rituals we have in our life. Like there's graduation and there's, there's all these things that we celebrate together as, as milestones in our life. But what do grandparents have really? I mean they, they, they are so excited. I know a lot of gen, and this is a big point of contention, a lot of grandparents, they wanna be in the delivery room and, and, and our, this generation especially is like, no, do not come in the delivery room. We don't, we don't want that. But how can we celebrate that, that, that for grandparents, like that stage, that graduation into grandparent hood.

Aaron Larsen (31m 21s):

And I think the best way is you invite them, you acknowledge them, you send them to, to other places like Grandparents Academy. We have a big online event called Grandparents. We can, we could talk more about that. But essentially there is a holiday in the United States called Grandparents' Day. It was established by Jimmy Carter or it was made a holiday back in the seventies. And unfortunately a lot of grand, a lot of families don't celebrate it. Like they don't even know about it. It's not really that mainstream. So let's make it mainstream. Let's, let's come together as a, as you know, families and be more inclusive and celebratory about that.

Katie Ferraro (31m 58s):

Hey, we're gonna take a quick break, but I'll be right back.

OSEA (32m 4s):

We recently stayed in a rental house and rental houses stress me out more than hotels for a number of reasons. I just on the whole have too many children for rental houses. But this one had the most aggressive signage about not using their towels for makeup removal. So you know how like you stay at a rental house and they have those like passive aggressive signs. Sometimes they're aggressive, aggressive about like, please do not use these white towels to remove your mascara or your makeup. And then like if you forgot your makeup remover or there's no soap there, then you're kind of up a creek or they'll give you disposable makeup remover towelettes, except those ones are packed with chemicals and then they always burn my eyes. I just wish someone would make a rental house size container of OSEA a's Ocean Wave Cleanser. So OSEA is a company that I only recently started using, but they've been around for over 25 years and it shows the OSEA skincare products are thoughtful, clean, vegan, and cruelty-free. And I love knowing that they're also climate neutral certified. It's skincare that feels luxurious, but it's also responsible. And here's the deal with the OSEA Ocean Wave Cleanser. So it's a cleansing oil plus makeup remover in one product. So it has this gentle by phase water light cleansing oil. It really effectively dissolves your makeup plus impurities and excess sebum. But then the secret ingredient kicks in and that's undaria seaweed leaves. And this leaves your skin feeling so soft, so nourished, you're perfectly prepped for like, it's got a double cleanse basically of your whole skincare routine. So I massage it in, rinse it with warm water, and then I wipe it with a reusable bamboo cloth that I clean myself because I do not live at a rental house. My skin feels clean, smooth, never tight or dry, just soft and balanced. The OSEA Ocean Wave Cleanser uses Seaweed plus Gentle Botanicals and antioxidants. It literally feels like a mini reset button. It's how I end every day. Even the chaotic ones when I'm not on vacation. You can get healthy glowing skin for this season of your life with clean, vegan skin and body care from OSEA. You can get 10% off your first order, anything from their site when you use the code weaning at OSEA malibu.com, you get free samples with every order, which I love, and free shipping on orders over $50. Head to OSEA malibu.com and use the code weaning for 10% off.

Katie Ferraro (34m 29s):

And I love that idea of celebrating the parts of their history that you might not even be aware of and think of food as such and as an incredibly powerful way to do that. I know I, in our hundred First Foods program, we have a hundred different foods on the list and d many different recipes that are appropriate for babies, different ages and stages. And one of the ones I was working on for this particular cut of beef the other day, 'cause meat can be really intimidating to parents on how to make that safe for babies. Maybe they don't cook meat that much or they worry that their baby's gonna choke. But I was just thinking of one of my favorite recipes that my grandma always made was Salsbury Steak. We just started like down a rabbit hole of like researching Salsbury steak, very interesting history, which we kind of worked into the program, but like I had my grandmother's original recipe and modified like the gravy had a little too much salt and, and it was so cool.

Katie Ferraro (35m 16s):

I actually shared it with my mom. I was, because she makes Salisbury steak all the time for my kids and they love it. So they're having this experience of their grandparents making it. And I was showing my mom like, hey, this is how we made it in the baby led weenie program. And like, it's because her mom, my grandma used to make that from us. And so getting to share that with other families is cool, but also reminding families that like there are cultural, family religious foods that your grandparents, your parents rather might make that your children might otherwise not get to experience. So embrace that and it's, it helps to make your child, like you said, resilient in many different ways. Open to new exposures, you know, everyone knows it's like the kid's gonna try a food that grandma offers probably a hundred times more than one that mom or dad does in some occasions.

Katie Ferraro (35m 59s):

So really lean into food as a way that you can connect with your parents and their role as grandparents because I think I agree with you, we need to be celebrating all the foods that babies can eat more. We don't have celebrations for that. I mean, Aaron and I got in touch because he's helping us with our baby-led weaning day celebration. July 1st is national Baby-Led Weaning Day and we designated that a number of years back as a way to honor and celebrate all the foods that babies can eat if we wait until they're safe to do that. So I'm all for celebrating some of these other non currently as of yet not mainstream holidays, Aaron, that someday will maybe just be up there with Mother's Day and Father's Day, like Grandparents Week and baby-led weaning day.

Katie Ferraro (36m 43s):

And having said that, I want to ask you to tell us more about your Grandparents' Week summit that's coming up in September. How can parents use that event as a bridge to invite their own parents into conversations about baby-led weaning and, you know, other modern parenting practices that they might maybe not have the skillset or even the desire to do right now? What's the deal with Grandparents Week?

Aaron Larsen (37m 3s):

Yeah, thank you. Well, well first I just wanna tell you that I think that's so special that you incorporated that recipe into, you know, your list and into the way that you, you feed. I I think the more that you can do that as families to predict, to pass on that heritage, that tradition, that just makes it extra special. So I, I greatly support and encourage that with Grandparents Week that was started because I, I basically pulled my audience in about Grandparents' Day and most, most did not, I think it was 87% of them were not recognized by their families on Grandparents' Day. And I was saying, why is that? Why is that? Because I have, I know so many people in my circle, they love their parents as grandparents and why, why can't we as a society, why not celebrate this?

Aaron Larsen (37m 50s):

And so what I did was I took Grandparents' Day and now every year on Grandparents' Day we, we have this online conference that we bring in educators on various grandparenting related topics and we, we send them this content, these interviews throughout the whole week. So it's a seven day event, online conference. It's completely free. I mean, general admission, anyone can join. I want as many grandparents as possible to benefit and their families to benefit from this great information that we bring together. They talk about long distance grandparenting helping to maybe reconcile relationships or, you know, how how do we, there there's just all sort, how do we better connect with our teenage grand grandchildren?

Aaron Larsen (38m 32s):

Because there, there's a stage in development where teenagers, they often kind get a little, they, you know, they wanna come into their own. And so there's, there's a change in approach with, with that relationship as well. So all that being said, we have a lot of resources, a lot of topics, grandparents who, who come to this event. Some have called it life changing even because they care so much about being a grandparent and they want to be so involved. But it is challenging for grandparents because of distance, because of everything else. Life is so, there's so much going on in everybody's lives that sometimes it's really hard to keep that relationship going, to keep investing and nurturing those relationships.

Aaron Larsen (39m 16s):

So they really are interested in, in hearing from parents that they matter, that they're important, that they're part of their family and they want to hear from you as parents that, that they want you involved in their life. And Grandparents week is a great way to just honor them to say, Hey, check out this really cool event for grandparents. I know how much you love our kids and you love being a grandparent. I think you're gonna love this event. 'cause they're celebrating all about being grandparent and there's a lot of great information

Katie Ferraro (39m 48s):

Grandparents who will take my free online workshop called Baby LED WEANING FOR BEGINNERS. Then they'll say, Hey, I wanna buy this program for my child, who's the parent? And a lot of times they say, and they'll be honest, it's because I don't like the way they're feeding the baby, or I don't like the way they fed the first baby. And for parents who wanna invite their parents, the grandparents do an event, what's a nice way of inviting them? Like it's not like, mom, I think you could use some info on how to be a better grandmother. That's, that's not the ask there. What would the ask be? What's the call to action for people listening to this, why they would want to invite their parents or how, what language they should use so that they don't come across as being passive aggressive, like not super happy with our relationship right now.

Aaron Larsen (40m 30s):

Yeah, yeah. No, that's a really good point. Yeah, it's, it's don't say, you know, I want to, I wanna send you to school because you are failing as a grandparent. Never say anything like that. It's what you wish should do is really acknowledge them and, and your desire to have them be part of your lives. And so always start with appreciation and gratitude. Hey mom, I love how much you love being a grandma, and I can tell that it means a lot to you. I just learned about this really great event for grandparents. I mean, there's nothing out there like this. They basically celebrate Grandparents Day for a full week. I think you'd love it. So here, just click on this link. It doesn't cost anything. I think you're gonna love this. Let me know what you think.

Aaron Larsen (41m 11s):

I think it's as simple as that. It's, it's just, Hey, you matter to us. We love you. We want you to just keep loving being a grandma or grandpa and I think you'd like this event.

Katie Ferraro (41m 23s):

So for families who are feeling stuck or in conflict about baby led weaning or other feeding or parenting practices or decisions, what is one message that you hope that they can take away from your work at the Grandparents Academy? I mean, I know they're gonna learn more about it at Grandparents week, but like how would you sum up what you want them to walk away feeling with regards to the role of grandparents after this conversation and and kind of aligned with your work?

Aaron Larsen (41m 46s):

Yeah, yeah. I, I would say, I hope that everyone walks away from this conversation with encouragement that grandparents really do care about them as parents, as, as much as they care about being a great grandparent for your child, and that there's an opportunity here. I think that in the busy busyness of life, which gets busier and busier, oftentimes these relationships can, can get sidelined. They, they get neglected. And it's unfortunate because there are so much opportunities. Studies show how, how important this relationship is not only for the grandchild, but that relationship can be so fulfilling and edifying for you as a parent and your parent at in this role of helping them really embrace grandparenting.

Aaron Larsen (42m 38s):

It can be so fulfilling and all it takes is a little encouragement from your end. And this can go a long way to, to creating really strong bonds in your family.

Katie Ferraro (42m 49s):

Well Aaron, thank you so much for your time. I love chatting with you and I look forward to inviting my parents to Grandparents week as well.

Aaron Larsen (42m 56s):

Thanks so much Katie, and thanks for all that you're doing as well to keep family strong.

Katie Ferraro (43m 0s):

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed that interview with Aaron Larsen. I think he has such a wonderful way about him. I love his backstory. I love his involvement in like commitment to the grandparents world. He's not even a grandparent, but he's such a love for grandparents. If you wanna grab that free feeding guide with 11 sample scripts for Guiding Grandparents Through Baby-led weaning, go to my website, baby led weaning.co/resources. That's where all my free feeding guides are. I got those 11 sample scripts all lined up in a beautiful PDF to help you start that challenging conversation. If you want to sign up for Grandparents week, which I hope you will invite the grandparents in your life to this, go to grandparents academy.com/blw.

Katie Ferraro (43m 40s):

All of the links from today's episode will be on the show notes, which is@blwpodcast.com/59. That's a lot of websites to go to. But a special thanks to our partners at Airwave Media. If you guys like podcasts that feature food and science and using your brain, check out some of the podcasts from AirWave. We're online@bwpodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening and I'll see you next time.

Rula (44m 12s):

I know because you're a podcast listener and since you listen to podcasts, you have no doubt heard podcast ads for online therapy. And I know you're probably listen to podcasts because you're a busy parent, right? You've got a lot going on. You're in charge of your baby, of your family, maybe your job friendships, family relationships, and these things are stressful. If you're approaching burnout or your anxiety or your stress is piling up, then yeah, high quality therapy can help. But here's the problem. Most online therapy platforms focus on connecting clients with licensed therapists, but they often fall short when it comes to help with medication management. Rula is a healthcare company and a provider group that's working to change that RULA provides in-network covered care. And RULA patients typically pay just $15 per therapy session when they're using insurance. So RULA has a wide range of licensed professionals, including psychiatrists who help you get the care that you need. RULA is the place to go for your mental healthcare, even if you're not sure exactly what you need, because affordable and accessible mental healthcare should not be out of reach. But too often it is. Thousands of people are already using RULA to get affordable high quality therapy. That's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/weaning to get started, and after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them. Please help support this show. Let them know I sent you. That's RULA.com/weaning because you deserve mental health care that works with you and not against your budget.